Apr 28, 2014

ARC REVIEW: The Professional (Game Maker, #1) by Kresley Cole


Expected publication: May 6th 2014 by Simon & Schuster UK

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Genre:
Contemporary Romance/ Erotica

Summary on Goodreads:

The highly anticipated complete novel of The Professional—the first installment in #1 New York Times bestselling author Kresley Cole’s scorching Game Maker series, an erotica collection that has readers asking: How hot is too hot?

He makes the rules…

Mafiya enforcer Aleksei “The Siberian” Sevastyan’s loyalty to his boss knows no bounds, until he meets the boss’s long-lost daughter, a curvy, feisty redhead who haunts his mind and heats his blood like no other. Ordered to protect her, Aleksei will do anything to possess her as well—on his own wicked terms.

Rules are made to be broken…

Grad student Natalie Porter had barely recovered from her first sight of the dark and breathtaking Sevastyan before the professional enforcer whisks her away to Russia, thrusting her into a world of extreme wealth and wanton pleasures. Every day under his protection leads her deeper under his masterful spell.

Are you ready to play?

Yet all is not as it seems. To remove Natalie from an enemy’s reach, Sevastyan spirits her into hiding. From an opulent palace in Russia to the decadent playgrounds of the mega-wealthy in Paris, the two lovers will discover that even their darkest—and most forbidden—fantasies can come true…


RATING: 


***REVIEW***

****Arc provided via Netgalley in exchange for honest review***

Kresley Cole is one of my favorite authors when it comes to the paranormal genre with her Immortals After Dark series and that's why I was super excited to read this book. It started out promising, I liked the idea, it had potential, but unfortunately soon enough I could see that this won't be one of my favorite reads by her and here's why:

The things I actually liked about this book:

1. Russia & Russian bad boys speaking sexy Russian language
The majority of the story takes plot in Russia with main male hero being Russian which I really liked, plus I got to learn some Russian, one of the languages I love and have to learn in the near future.

2. Humor
When it comes to humor, you could recognize Cole's style from a mile- strong, witty, uncensored and fun characters making fools of themselves and being cute while at it.

3. Strong female character
As usual, the main female character was a fairly strong woman who isn't afraid to take charge when she sets her mind on something. In this case, when it comes to the relationship, we can say that she was more of a "predator" than the guy and I liked it.

3. Sex scenes
What to say about those? Well, as I mentioned many times before, I'm not exactly a fan of BDSM relationships, especially of more extreme version of Dom/ Sub. The relationship here was more of a lighter BDSM version, sometimes even crossing that line, but I must admit that some scenes were pretty hot. I blame it on the dirty Russian talking :D. 

The things I didn't exactly like about this book:

1. The plot & the writing
I can't believe I'm saying this, but at some parts of the book I questioned if this is written by K. Cole, because it felt more that it was written by a writer beginner- too many cliches & some cheesy content. In my opinion the sole idea of the plot is good, but unfortunately it wasn't well developed. The story ended up pretty predictable. I don't know, I guess with authors like K. Cole I have pretty big expectations and this time those expectations were not met. 
2. Caveman alert!
Hot, dirty, mysterious Russian turns annoying & over-possessive Tarzan with the main line: "Me bad, you mine!" His so called mystery and "issues" started to really annoy me towards the ending to the point that I wanted her to dump his ass and even his finally coming clean couldn't change my mind.

3. Female character with questionable life choices
I'm not going to go deep into this, because there would be spoilers. You'll just have to read it for yourself. Let's just say that some things she did or said made me think: Girl, are you for real o.O?

4, Sex scenes, overbearing Dom/ Sub relationship
No matter of the fact that this is erotica and how hot some of those scenes were, I actually wish that there were less of them and more of the actual story and also the Dom/ Sub relationship was at times overbearing, but maybe it's just me, because I'm not exactly a fan of it.

I saw that someone labeled this as paranormal romance with vampires on Goodreads. Sorry, but have we read the same book? This is realistic fiction and there are no things related to the paranormal genre, certainly no vamps in it. The readers that will probably enjoy this much more than I did are fans of books like Fifty Shades Of Grey or fans of BDSM romance with Dom/ Sub relationship in general. As far as the quality is concerned this is better than those books, but I overgrew those type of stories long time ago. All in all, I will continue reading everything Cole writes, I'm not even opposed to read the next book of this series in hope that things might improve, but it also won't be on top of my list.

XOXO

Apr 27, 2014

Seven Sons (Gypsy Brothers, #1) by Lili St. Germain

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Author's Page:

Genre:
New Adult

Summary on Goodreads:

My father was most certainly NOT an innocent man. As the leader of the Gypsy Brothers MC, he was guilty of many things. But he died for a crime that he didn’t commit, framed by an enemy within who then stole his club and everything he had ever worked to protect.

Including my innocence.

When Dornan Ross framed my father, he set into motion a series of events that could never be undone. My father was murdered by Dornan Ross and his sons when I was fifteen years old.

Before my father died, Dornan Ross and his seven sons stole my innocence, branded my skin and in doing so, ensured that their lives would be prematurely cut short. That they would suffer.

I've just turned twenty-one, and I’m out for blood. I'm out for revenge.

But I didn't expect to fall for Jase, the youngest brother in the club.

I didn't expect that he would turn my world upside down, yank my heart out of my chest and ride away into the sunset with it.

Now, I'm faced with an impossible choice - Jase, or avenging my fathers death?

RATING:


***Review***

Confucius said: "Before embarking upon a journey of revenge, 
dig two graves."
I planned to dig seven.



Do I even have to say that  the first thing which dragged my attention to this book is the way-too-hot cover ? And then I read the intriguing blurb and next thing you know I was off to get the book.

Dark. Edgy. Brutal. Dirty. Steamy. Mind-fuck.


The story and mystery behind it captivates you from the first page. Warning to all of those considering reading this- if you are not fans of books with more darker themes which will from time to time question your sanity and morality, then you should probably stay away from this book. Do you watch the  ABC show  Revenge ? Well, it has some things in common with that show, but that show is a fairy tale in comparison to this story.

The main character of the book is 20 something years old girl Juliette who is born in the cruel gangsta world as the daughter of one of its leaders. The fact which in time will cost her everything, destroy her life. The person she once was is gone and instead Samantha is born. A girl who has one goal only in her mind: r e v e n g e and she will sell her soul in order to get it.

Woah! I was definitely not expecting the story to be this dark and brutal before reading it and yet again I liked it a lot, because it was different and unpredictable. Julliette is a character I really liked, even though I think that some of the readers won't, because of the things she will do in order to get her revenge. I wasn't comfortable with *that* particular thing either, but for me it made the story more believable and I think that it was very brave from the author to take that risk, because it might be a deal-breaker for some readers, but  it wasn't for majority according to GR rating and I'm glad for that. You just can't go through all of that and come out normal. My only thought for her while reading was: Make them pay! And Jase, sweet Jase, I don't know, I'm still undecided about you. How could you stay there all those years after what happened it's beyond me! We'll see if you are worth of forgiveness after I read next books.

The only problem I had with this story is that it is quite short (92 pages) and that's why some situations felt rushed while some were left unexplained with some loopholes, but it intrigued me enough to read the two next books (reviews coming soon) right away after this one and what can I promise is that it only gets better. I recommend it to all fans of dark reads. IT'S FREE ON AMAZON! Go get it, buckle up & prepare for one hell of a ride ;)



xoxo

Apr 26, 2014

Cover Reveal - On The Way Home by Skye Warren


ON THE WAY HOME



Skye Warren



Available: May 20, 2014





Synopsis:




Clint
For eight months Ive been deep under cover as a special operator in the Army. On the plane ride home, all I want is a hot shower and a long sleep. But a Dear John text message leaves me stranded. I need a ride and a place to stay, and the pretty stewardess is more than willing.

Della
Its supposed to be a simple tradethe passenger in seat 34B for my sister. But the sexy soldier is more than I can handle in all the best ways. He trusts me, but I cant save him. No one can. Sometimes trouble has a way of following you home.

On the Way Home is a dark new adult romance intended for readers over eighteen.


https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18364344-on-the-way-home?ac=1


About the Author:



Skye Warren writes unapologetic erotica, including power play or erotic pain and sometimes dubious consent. There's struggle in the sex. There's pain in the relationships. Her books are raw, sexual and perversely romantic.



Links:








 Happy reading,
***Cover reveal organized by Rock Star PR.***

Apr 25, 2014

Switch by Megan Hart



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Book summary:
don't think don't question just do

The anonymous note wasn't for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the habit of reading other people's mail, but it was just a piece of paper with a few lines scrawled on it, clearly meant for the apartment upstairs. It looked so innocent, but decidedly-deliciously-it was not.

Before replacing the note-and the ones that followed-in its rightful slot, I devoured its contents: suggestions, instructions, commands. Each was more daring, more intricate and more arousing than the last...and I followed them all to the letter.

Before the notes, if a man had told me what to do, I'd have told him where to go. But submission is an art, and there's something oddly freeing about doing someone's bidding...especially when it feels so very, very good. But I find that the more I surrender, the more powerful I feel-so it's time to switch up roles.

We play by my rules now.


Switch on Goodreads  
 
 My rating: 4 stars

My review:
"Sometimes, you turn back.
Sometimes, you walk away.
And sometimes, you find the place you're meant to be, and you stay there. You find a way to make it work.
Whatever it takes."

Ah, Megan Hart, I admire your skill...

Long ago I've learned that when I get into what I like to call Megan-Hart mood, the best thing to do is to give into it and read a Megan Hart book. That was exactly what I did. And this book made me glad that I did it.

I must say, I expected something different from this book. The title made me instantly go to BDSM. (Yes, my mind is in the gutter. I know.) Then there was the blurb about some notes that could possibly be dangerous. My imagination went wild at that. But, even though I still have many books by Megan Hart to read (which makes me optimistic about my future reading), the ones I did read have made me expect certain things from this author's books. Luckily, I got that in Switch. Well, except there was less sex than you'd expect. I know, I was a bit disappointed, too.

On the bright side, the author's writing style has knocked me off my feet once again. Truly, it is something special. I always prefer to read her books slowly so I can take my time absorbing the words one by one, and prolonging my enjoyment of the story.

This story was about Paige, a woman who loved beautiful, quality stationery and writing instruments. I know it's silly, but I kind of liked her because of that right away, since I like it, too. Love for pretty paper and pens aside, Paige had quite a few complicated relationships in her life. That is something else I've come to expect from Megan Hart's books, as is that special way of describing them and resolving them, which did not fail in Switch.

Besides not the greatest (but also not the worst) relationship with her mother, which seems a running theme with the heroines in Hart's erotic novels, the complications were in the relationships with the men in her life. There was her father, her ex-husband, her neighbor, and her boss.

Her father... Well, let's just say that the circumstances of her birth didn't make them the closest daughter and father. Actually, it appeared rather superficial and strained. But, luckily, Paige was a tough girl.

Her ex-husband, Austin, was very likeable. From what I've gathered they had many problems in their marriage, some of which were left to my imagination, but in present time in the book he was, like I said, likeable. To me, at least. In part, that was the reason those parts with the two of them broke my heart a little bit.

Then there was the very attractive neighbor, who I found adorable. Seriously, I want my own Eric, for he was just too cute. But what I meant to say that besides her ex, Eric was Paige's other romantic interest. And she was quite interested in both of them up until the very last page.

The part about her boss, who had some let's call them "special needs and requests" was also interesting. I loved how that relationship progressed. And, yes, I did find Paul sweet, too. Sue me.

All that would make any woman's life complicated. But, Paige honestly managed all of that quite well. She did it with maturity and unexpected ease. Frankly, I was very impressed with this heroine.

And all of that because of some mysterious notes...

Oh, the notes. I'm not going to say what was on them, who wrote them, or who they were written for. Read the book! If you want to, of course.


XOXO
 

Apr 24, 2014

Arc review: Every Part Of You (4-5) by Megan Hart

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Author's Page:
Genre:
Contemporary Romance/ Erotica

Summary on Goodreads:

Passion has bloomed to love, but when Elliott’s estranged father shows up back on the scene, he brings trouble with him.

The dating thing goes well at first, with both of them taking things slow…though their passion can’t be contained. But when Elliott’s stepmother tells him she’s been in touch with his father, Elliott’s past comes back to remind him that hurting other people is wrong. Despite Simone trying to tell him there’s a difference between the sort of things they do in the bedroom and hurting someone in anger, Elliott again puts up an emotional block and Simone seeks refuge in a former lover’s embrace.


RATING:


***REVIEW***

She'd vowed she would never be that girl.
She knew for a a straight-up fact that Elliot was an emotionally
unavailable mess. She could fuck him until they were both raw.
She could let him take her out to dinners and concerts.
She could even spend hours with him on the phone, laughing so hard she thought she might pass out from lack of air.
But she could not, would not fall in love with him.

The  first three parts of this story made me think that this read was something unlike Megan Hart's usual reads, because they were more focused on sex than on emotions, but in this one and the next one I could definitely recognize her distinctive writing style and that's why I liked these final parts the most.
Love. Sex. Pain.
Elliot & Simone are finally making it official and everything seems to go so smooth, but of course that's the destiny's cue for immediate strike of pain and misery. Elliot's ghosts from the past come knocking at his door and "their visit" make him question again his relationship with Simone. The things I liked the most about this part is the emotional side of the story and that the puzzle that is Elliot and his past finally starts to solve piece by piece. I was undecided about him at the beginning of the story, because he was a closed off person, but as the saying says: don't judge the book by its cover. He has frustrated me yet again with his choices and insecurities, but after getting a peek in his past and childhood, it's impossible not to feel sorry for him and things he went through.

Simone is one of those fierce & independent women and that's why I like her, but in this part we also get to see her soft side which made me like her even more, even if she did something in the end I didn't exactly approve, but it still didn't make me think less of her. The character that I don't like even after this part is Aiden. That guy annoyed me since the first page we met him and things only got worse in this book. You'll see why.

Will there be HEA for Elliot & Simone after all or are they broken and this time for good?
We are one  step from finding out, because the 5th part is also the last one. All in all, I liked the story very much despite some dramatic situations.

Btw. Elliot, you broke my heart big time, but I'm still rooting for you, probably because of my in-explainable soft spot for broken souls and you are one of those, but it's time to redeem yourself! I'm waiting...

"Harder," she breathed. "Oh, please, Elliot...hurt me..."



Every Part Of You: Takes Me (#5)



Buy The Book:
AMAZON /  BARNES & NOBLE

Genre:
Contemporary Romance/ Erotica

Summary on Goodreads:

Together, they were on fire. Apart, they’re miserable. Can Simone and Elliott find their way back to each other?

Bereft after Elliott leaves her, Simone is urged to find solace in a non-emotional connection with a stranger that leaves her body fulfilled but her heart still empty. When Elliott learns she’s been with someone else, jealousy prompts him to make a move on her, but passion is no longer enough. He needs to open up to Simone, who’s not sure she can accept even his sincerest apology. A final run-in with his father convinces Elliott he has to make amends with Simone, no matter what it takes.

RATING:


***REVIEW***

He had been her sun, the star she circled endlessly.
Helpless against the gravity she'd been unable to fight.
She'd flown too close and melted her wings made of wax. 
She'd fallen.
Maybe she'd never been meant to fly.


Heartache is one of the hardest types of pain out there, because it never gives you a break and you may never  recover from it. It's a tormentor with the sharpest blade and aren't we all familiar with that particular blade? That's how Simone feels after Elliot broke her heart. Months have passed and she gives her best to try and forget him, but every time she fails miserably. And he doesn't even seem to care. Ugh! Damn you Elliot! Your cold demeanor made me imagine several right hand-left hand slaps headed your way, but you did kind of redeem yourself in the ending even if you took your time. Jerk!

But back to the really good parts, meaning sex parts, because this last installment,  considering that department, was the hottest of them all thanks to one visit to the BDSM sex club including two Dominatrix and a guy submissive. I'm not into the bdsm scene, but even I must admit that that was hot and that's all I'm saying.


All in all, I'm happy with the way this story ended. I still think it would have been better if M. Hart published only the whole book, and not like this in 5 short parts, because its hard to rate 30 pages, especially if you don't have all of them near and that's why I recommend anyone who wants to read this to buy the whole book. It was a collection of fun, way-too-hot & emotional parts with no bigger drama mixed with a little bdsm. Not one of my favorite M.Hart books, but quite enjoyable.

XOXO

Apr 22, 2014

Veiled Innocence by Ella Frank


   


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Book summary:

Tick, tick, tock.
Time.
That’s all I have now.
A small room, a photograph, and time.
They want me to trust them and confess my sins.
They told me they wouldn't judge me—they lied.
I thought we could convince the world that this wasn't a crime.
We were wrong.
Time doesn't stand still.
The clock keeps ticking, the world is unconvinced, and now…
Now he is gone.


***
My co-blogger Danija and I both decided to read Veiled Innocence with  high hopes. Danija is an old Ella Frank fan,  ever since she read Blind Obsession. This is my first Ella Frank novel, but as soon as I've heard it's a teacher/student romance, I decided to give it a try.
Sadly, we were both somewhat disappointed. Here's why.

***

What Beatrix thought:

Veiled Innocence had potential to be great, but sadly it did not deliver. 

Student / teacher novels are a guilty pleasure of mine; I have read plenty of them, but I can name only a few I truly liked. The reason is, they deal with such a taboo subject and the author really has to portray the romance is such a way that the reader does not find it disgusting (age difference, moral reasons etc.), but also – not to portray it overly romantic and unrealistic.

So, I read for the thrill, that taste of forbiddance. Here, I was seriously considering giving up in the first 20%. Main female protagonist Addison, chases her teacher like a freaking stalker. The way it was described – new level of creepiness. And I saw absolutely nothing besides the sexual attraction between the main characters. She sees him for the first time, she wants him, so she pursues him. And him, Mr. McKendrick aka Grayson – at first he resists, but he gives in way too easily and way too soon. So, bam, they’re together, professing their undying love very early on. In addition to, I felt everything happened in a day, everything is a bit rushed, there was no real plot development. 

However, as I’ve said, the novel had potential, if only the author decided to go in the other direction (I believe she kind of tried, by giving us a bold and brazen heroine who fearlessly pursues her teacher), but, here’s the huge but, in the end, I’m left disappointed because the novel offers us already seen clichés. 

There were some moments I liked, for example the notion that Addison was Grayson’s monster, whereas he is her peace. I liked how Grayson’s confliction is depicted, he’s truly torn, he wants her, but knows he shouldn’t. My favorite scene is --SPOILER-- when his father dies, they’re having sex, and he wants to destroy her, but also to possess her at the same time.

I believe this would have been so much better if the author played on the love / hate card, even without the happy ending. (i.e. them not ending up together, instead: her – curing herself, and getting rid of the guilt, and him – getting rid of his monster, that is her. But that only happens in my head.)

Therefore, I liked the general idea (actually, I think I’ll like any book with this idea, forbidden or taboo), but overall realization left me wanting more.

Rating:

***

What Danija thought:

It pains me to give this rating to an Ella Frank book. I actually can't believe I'm doing it, but it is what it is - I didn't like it. In no case I'm saying it's bad. It just didn't work for me.

I... I don't even know what to say. I'm very confused by all this. So very confused. But I'll try to explain why this wasn't a book I liked.

My first problem appeared right at the very beginning. Addison, the heroine, was my first problem. I simply didn't like her. I had hopes that would change later on, that I would understand her, and connect with her. Sadly, that did not happen. Being able to relate to the characters I read about, and ultimately liking them is very important to me when it comes to the books I read. In most cases, if I don't like the characters, or at least the main characters, I usually end up disliking the book, too. That is exactly what happened here. I didn't like Addison, and I certainly didn't like her behavior. In fact, I found her behavior towards her teacher repulsive and completely unacceptable. Even when I found out why she was behaving that way, that didn't change. By the end, she did appear more sensible, but that just made me wonder why in the world she didn't have that reasoning at the beginning. She was borderline obsessive about Mr. McKendrick. Honestly, I felt so bad for the man when she was so brazenly pursuing him. At one point, I almost expected she would threaten him to be with her.

Yes, later I learned the reasons behind Addison's actions, but I didn't think they justified her. Her parents were, indeed, horrible towards her (and for no good reason, if you ask me; accidents happen all the time, and them blaming Addison for what happened was so terrible, I couldn't believe it), but choosing to put someone else's life in jeopardy the way she did... I just couldn't get past it.

Mr. McKendrick... I'm not sure about him. Like I said, at first I felt sorry for him for being a target of a very persistent student, but that soon changed when he very easily gave in, and then proceeded to behave in a manner I found quite odd.

The relationship they had, I'm sorry to say, was something else I didn't like, and it wasn't because I had a problem with a student/teacher relationship. Although, I was a bit uncomfortable with that age difference, since she was only 18. My issue was that for a while it seemed as if it was purely based on physical attraction, so even when it was said that it was something more, I just didn't buy into it. It may be weird, but all those things they were saying and thinking about how they needed and loved each other so much that they gave each other's lives a meaning, I didn't believe in them, which made me sad and confused.

There's not much more I can say. I hope everyone else who reads this book has more luck with it. I went into it hoping to feel a least a bit like I felt while reading Blind Obsession, but I didn't. To me, something was missing that prevented me from being drawn into the story. I suppose I just needed something more.

So, in conclusion, it's me, not the book.

Rating:
 



XOXO,
BEATRIX & DANIJA

Apr 18, 2014

Release Day Launch - Night After Night by Lauren Blakely

We are thrilled that Lauren Blakely's NIGHT AFTER NIGHT is available today!!! NIGHT AFTER NIGHT is the first full-length novel from her first Erotic Romance Series, The Seductive Nights Series! The prequel novella, FIRST NIGHT, is included in NIGHT AFTER NIGHT!! Grab your copy today and don't forget to enter to win a signed paperback copy of NIGHT AFTER NIGHT!
Night After Night - Cover
   

About NIGHT AFTER NIGHT:  

**Warning: Spare panties are needed for reading this book...you're welcome.*** "You are being rewarded for turning me on. But we're doing it my way. You teased the hell out of me, and now I want to watch you squirm. Crawl up on my bed and get on your hands and knees." Their world was sex, love, and lies. He intoxicated her. Commanded. Consumed. With a dirty mind and a mouth to match, Clay Nichols is everything Julia never knew she wanted and exactly what she cannot have. He walked into her life one night and unlocked pleasure in her that she never knew was possible. Possessing her body, captivating her every thought. Which makes him way too dangerous for Julia to risk her heart, given that she has a price tag on her head. She ran after one mind-blowing week with him, but now he's back, and determined to make her his own. No matter the cost. She was a sexy drug to him. Fiery, unforgettable, and never enough, Julia is an enigma, and Clay isn't willing to let her go without a fight. But she's got dark secrets of her own that threaten to destroy any chance of happiness. She's a wanted woman - the stakes are high, her every move is watched, and yet the lure between them can't be denied. Can two people burned by love trust again when desire and passion are met by danger at every turn? A sensual, emotionally-charged erotic romance from the New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author Lauren Blakely...

Please note: This book is intended for 18+ due to dirty talk, light bondage, and lots of sexy scenes. This ebook edition also includes the prequel novella First Night, which precedes Night After Night.

Night After Night Teaser

BUY LINKS: 

After This Night

Also, the sequel in The Seductive Nights Series, AFTER THIS NIGHT, is up for pre-order now! Here are the links! Amazon iTunes
 
Seductive Nights Series banner

About Lauren Blakely: Lauren Blakely writes sexy contemporary romance novels with heat, heart, and humor, and her books have appeared on the New York Times, USA Today, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and iBooks bestseller lists. Like the heroine in FAR TOO TEMPTING, she thinks life should be filled with family, laughter, and the kind of love that love songs promise. Lauren lives in California with her husband, children, and dogs. Her novels include Caught Up In Us, Pretending He’s Mine, Playing With Her Heart, and Trophy Husband. She also writes for young adults under the name Daisy Whitney.
 Links: 

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Apr 13, 2014

Vital Sign by J. L. Mac

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Author's Page:

Genre:
Contemporary Romance

Summary on Goodreads:

I used to have a great life. My little world was bright. I had no complaints. My perfectly simple life made the fall from grace that much more devastating. I plummeted from the heavenly little bubble that I shared with Jake. I fell fast and hard straight into the fiery pits of hell. The knowledge of how things used to be is a bittersweet torture that refuses me even one moment of respite. I live in a painful reverie that I can’t escape.

I had it good once.

That’s gone now.

All of it disappeared like vapor into the ether.
I’m a lost woman, wandering through grief and struggling to come to terms with my new title: widow. My family says I need understanding and closure. I say a cigarette and a bottle of wine is a much better option for instant gratification.

I’m the awkward, depressed one standing in the corner making everyone around me miserably uncomfortable. I’m the one with vacant eyes that society strives to help but can’t. I’m the one who hands out tight smiles and derisive snorts. I’m the widow adrift in this world with no direction. No meaning. No hope. No vital sign.

***

Sadie sets out on a journey to healing without knowing that things will get far worse before they get better. Despite her general indifference to organ donation, she finds herself on a journey to seek out the only people who benefited from her husband’s tragic death.

Resentment runs rampant as she meets the thriving organ recipients. Anger and jealousy spiral, sending the delicate structure of Sadie’s emotions into a tailspin.

Alexander McBride got a second chance—one that he didn’t necessarily want. Alexander is a game changer for Sadie. She hates him for his health but can’t help feeling at home in his presence. He soothes her grief in a way that is intoxicating, addictive even.

The heart that once fell in love with her now resides in Alexander McBride’s chest. It’s a circumstance that forces her to wage an internal war fueled by grief, anger, guilt, love, lust, and loyalty.

Sadie must discover the things that are vital to going on with her life if she has any hope of finding her way through the all-consuming grief that dominates every waking moment.


RATING:


***MY REVIEW***

*** Arc provided by the author in exchange for honest review ***

"He died , other people got a chance to live, and I was left to stand awkwardly in the corner at every holiday, birthday, wedding, and reunion following it." 

Every loss is hard and painful, but death of a loved one is the hardest of them all. It is something that cuts you deep and marks you forever. A wound so deep which never heels and never stops to hurt. An emptiness that no one and nothing can replace or fill. Death is something no one can escape and whose final strike is everyone's greatest fear. We all expect and hope to live a happy and fulfilled life before that final strike, but life has a tendency to slap us in the face and say: guess again.

This is a story about that kind of loss, about the painful and bitter flavor it leaves and about the amount of strength and sacrifice necessary to rise again after that kind of blow. The first thing that caught my attention was of course the beautiful cover and then I read the synopsis and that was it for me. I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy from the author for which I'm grateful, because I liked this story very much and the characters it revolves around. It had me on the brink of tears from the very beginning, having lost that battle a couple of times. It was deeply emotional, heart-breaking, sweet & touching. One of my favorite formulas.

The main heroine is an 26 years old artist Sadie who lost her husband in one tragic event and  after his death she decided to donate his organs. Two years later and everything changed. She became shell of a woman she once was, deeply broken, full of resent and anger at herself, God, people and world around her. To please her family and in seek of some type of closure she decides to meet the people who hold a piece of her late husband, one of them being Alexander McBride, the patient who got Jake's heart. 

"He carries it.
He is responsible for taking  care of it,
but it wasn't that long ago that I slept beside that heart every night.
I took comfort in that heart.
My world revolved around that heart.
He carries it now, but I've carried that heart too."

Sadie was my favorite character in the story. She was such a sweet and relate-able character with whose thoughts and views about the world and people around I could connect. We get both, Sadie's and Alexander's point of views, but this is Sadie's story. A story about her hardest downfall and then slowly rising from the ashes. Alexander was also a very likable character, also a broken spirit who comes to Sadie's life when she was at the very bottom and when she expected it at least. There are a lot of secrets, grief, tragedy and guilt standing in the way of their happiness, but together maybe the could help each other heal, be each other's anchors.

"The look on her face rips me to pieces. 
She's standing there on my boardwalk looking so fucking alone that I wish I could steal the loneliness from her.
I'd take it from her. I don't know why other than the fact that I feel so indebted and responsible for this gorgeous, tormented woman in front of me.
I bite my tongue, literally, shocks of  pain bolt me, but I keep quiet.
Somehow I know what she needs in this moment.
Unspoiled silence."

The book was well-written, the writing style being so honest and poetic at times which I really liked. When it comes to the story I liked the first half of the book slightly better, because the second half became a bit cheesy and Cinderella-alike for my taste, but I didn't mind it this time that much. All in all, very good. I would recommend it to anyone who loves emotional and romantic stories which leave you with that warm and fuzzy feelingThis was my first book by this author, but it won't be the last. 

Her eyes, her movements,
 her touch are all her tell- her story- and I'm rapt, 
wondering what her ending is.
Some newly discovered part of me hopes that I'm the main character in Sadie's ending. Not her happily ever after, because she's already had one of those, but maybe I can be her second chance at happiness.
I think she could be mine.

XOXO
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