Sep 30, 2013

Unattainable (Undeniable, #3) by Madeline Sheehan





Find the book:
Author's:

My rating: 3.5 stars








Book summary:

"Tegen Matthews is the daughter of Dorothy Kelley, a club whore in the Hell’s Horsemen. A plain little girl, Tegen falls into the gritty world of the motorcycle club. When she meets a sweet, caring boy, she embraces the warmth and affection he shows her. Cage West is the son of the president of the Hell’s Horsemen. Tall and blond with deep brown eyes, as he grows up Cage realizes the power of his dimpled smile and smooth drawl. With one chance encounter, Tegen becomes forever tied to Cage. Following is a wayward journey that is filled with regrets, mistakes, and heartache, pulling at the threads that hold them together. Cage and Tegen fight hard but love harder, and in the end, what matters is where the journey takes one girl and one boy, who have been twined with one another since the beginning.

This is Tegen and Cage’s story."


I liked it, but...

     Back in the February when I read my first Madeline Sheehan book (you can read my review of Undeniable here), I was new to the whole big, bad bikers fictional world. I didn't even watch Sons of Anarchy - I had SoA marathon this summer - and my only biker experience was Reaper's Property by Joanna Wylde.

       One thing that stayed the same is the fact that this author knows how to write - it's not pathetic, characters aren't talking like fifteen year old kids, it's like you can see this whole world in your head while you are reading. Madeline is that good with words. And if your ears are sensible, you are warned - her favorite word of the day is "fuck". Maybe she is even too fond of it, but... fuck it.:)

      What is different? You get two stories - Cage and Tegen are central characters of Unattainable, but there is also sneak a peak in the life of Dirty and Ellie, Danny's best friend. There is much less "criminal" drama behind love story - this book is, at least from that point of view, tamer. There is no big age difference and Tegen is one tough cookie to break. Did I like it? Honestly? I am not sure. I have love/hate relationship with this series - I can't wait to read next sequel, I enjoy writing style, sex scenes can be hot as hell, but there are still some parts that disturb me or that just make me scream in complete frustration over female stupidity.
      I know that most of the readers like previous books better and that one of the things they find lacking is Dirty and Ellie's story. I have to say that I found them more interesting than main train-wreck couple. By the end of the book, Tegen seamed inconsistent and little bit confusing, Cage with his rage and whoring. Ending was probably the weakest part of Unattainable - too rushed, illogical - I had a feeling like there should be more to their story.
     General impression? Undeniable series is looking more and more like biker version of Black Dagger Brotherhood. Is that a good thing or a bad thing, it is up to you to decide. 

I've been thinking...



     I had so many conflicted emotions after Undeniable - at the same time I was totally hooked, I couldn't stop reading because I just had to see what will happen next, but on the other hand I just wanted to kick someone's ass for being stupid, I wanted to hate author for promoting all the caveman, repressive/traditional/patriarchal nonsense that millions of women fought to bring down. But after a while I realized that I'd been hypocrite. Why? Hmm... Let's see - I love reading about D/s relationships, I have soft spot for the very cavemen specimens Madeline Sheehan writes about and, for fuck sake, I am complete Stockholm syndrome freak. And in my free time I like to think about myself as feminist. So, I figured out that I am that "hysterical woman" from the beginning of 20th century - full of conflicted emotions and desires, body that is still under influence of its evolutionary animal part that seeks the alpha male in the group and intellectual being that thinks about everything and tries to distance itself from the animal part hiding inside.
     What does that says about me and any other woman who recognized herself in all of the above? That we are crazy? Not normal? That even feminists are full of shit because they too have their inner "cave-female"? Or that human sexuality is not that simple? That our basic instinct to reproduce is one part our evolution left intact and now we have all this conflicted thoughts and desires? I don't know, I really don't. Only thing I can say for sure is that, like anyone else, I love sex and I don't care as long as I get what I want and need. Simple as that.
      How about you? Do you feel like you're betraying your fellow feminists or you are just along for the ride?

xoxo,

Sep 26, 2013

(Blog Tour) The Right Kind of Wrong by Jade Eby


      Itching For Books hosts blog tour for The Right Kind of Wrong by Jade Eby. Today is a day four and we will be talking about all of the reasons why we liked this book. But that is not all. You know how you always hear that one song while you're reading a book? It just pops in your head and you are thinking how it perfectly fits the atmosphere or the feeling. Well, we are bringing you our own perfect playlist to listen while reading The Right Kind of Wrong.

Book summary:

"Nothing stays hidden forever.
Kara Pierce has held onto the same dream since she was a little girl: to be the next Katie Couric.

Vince Gage, a budding filmmaker whose I-don't-give-a-shit attitude cancels out his charm, almost ruined it for her once, and now he’s back, threatening to do it again.
When the two of them are paired together for a college competition with a $20,000 prize, the only thing they agree on is winning.
They return to Iowa where Kara grew up to research her grandfather's service in World War II, instead they find themselves in the middle of a family scandal kept quiet for far too long. As Kara and Vince investigate the scandal deeper, they realize the price of uncovering the truth is so much more than they bargained for."

Release date: June 27th, 2013.
Buy the book: Amazon


Way Too Hot Books Review

Rating: 4.5 stars

I have to admit that I didn't think this book would be that good, book description doesn't give you whole idea what you can expect from The Right Kind of Wrong.
It goes more along a line of family drama and realistic fiction with romance thrown in the mix, so I think this book would be perfect choice for readers who like little bit of depth and not just sizzling, angsty romance.
The Right Kind of Wrong is a story about coming back home, revealing secrets and falling for a guy you never thought about in terms of boyfriend material.
I love Kara and Vince, both of them are strong characters who are not afraid to go after what they want or to deal with their fears. Kara finds herself in the situation that she never dreamed about, people she trusted the most in her life turn out to be most surprising and daring. Vince is described as young man who tries to redeem himself and win over the girl he liked from the very start.
Jade Eby is a promising author and I can't wait to read more of her books.


Must Listen While Reading

About the author:



Once upon a time there was a little girl who fell in love with books then she grew up to write her own.
Jade has participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) six times and enjoys copious amounts of coffee. When she's not writing, she enjoys trashy reality T.V. and reading everything she can get her hands on. 
Mommy to two dogs and two naughty kitties, she feels like she might be on her way to having a zoo.






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xoxo,
 

Freeing by E.K. Blair (Fading, #1.5)

Buy The Book:

Author's Page:

Genre:
New Adult / MM Romance

Summary on Goodreads:

Knowing who you are and accepting who you are come at different prices. 

Jase Kinrick grew up in your typical, all-American household. But after the death of his sister, his parents shut down, forcing him to deal with everything life throws his way alone. Terrified of the person he’s discovering himself to be, Jase has his way with every willing girl to try and rid himself of what he fears he is—gay. 

Escaping California and moving to Seattle to attend the University of Washington, Jase frees himself to the reality that he likes men. Never staying with any guy long enough to get to know them, he doesn’t realize that he’s still hiding from who he is until he meets Mark. Scared of having real feelings for another guy stirs up the questions and fears he’s fought hard to bury. 

To strip away the barriers to the heart of what is real, and to be okay with what lies underneath, will be Jase’s moment of truth. But he’ll need Mark to lead him there.


**This is a companion novel to the USA Today Bestseller, FADING.**

RATING:


***REVIEW***

For years I’ve been trying to free myself of these fears, free myself from my tormenting thoughts, free myself from the walls that have kept me trapped in a hole of self-loathing. 

Everyone of us wants to be accepted and loved just the way we are, especially by the people closest to us, but what when who we are is considered wrong and shameful by society?
Aside from being a beautiful  & touching love story, this book also deals with issues like homosexuality and rape. Just like many times before, I was captivated by the beautiful cover and even more when I read the blurb and realized it's a MM book, so of course I had to put everything on hold and read it and I don't regret a bit. This is a prequel story to Fading (Fading, #1), but it can be read first, just like I did.

He made me realize just how scared of these feelings I actually am. I don't want a relationship with him because I'm afraid that will make it too real for me. Define me. Gay. Fag. Queer. Fuck. Am I ready for that?

Jase Kinrick's life finally started  when he moved out of his hometown to collage where he was far away from his broken home and estranged parents, where he could finally be free and his true self, but can he really? What when your  whole life you learn that smth is wrong and that you are unwanted and freak for doing it? What when people who don't even know you judge you, when even the people closest to you, who should love you and protect you no matter what, judge you and show you how much their love is conditional? Can you love and respect yourself, even if everyone else doesn't?
This book made me think a lot. It made me think about what I would do if my future kid came to me one day and said : "Mom, I'm gay." The thing I know for sure is that I would never do to him/her what Jase's parents did to him. I would love him and protect him no matter what, because it's my kid and I would want him to have a happy & loved life- how could you do that to your own blood is beyond me? It made me sad, because I know that a lot of people out there wouldn't do the same. 

There would always be some insecure and frustrated bully out there who would try to hurt him and make him less worth and what's worse is the knowing that you won't be always there to protect him and that's why I would want him, just like Jase did, to have someone like Mark to do that when I'm not around. He is such a sweet, understanding and charming character, and even though it  sometimes frustrated me how much understanding he had for Jase's constant insecurities,  you simply can't not like him. And the way they helped their friend Candance heal (the main character from the next book Fading (Fading, #1)) and cope with the horrible situation she went through was so brave and made me like them even more. Who wouldn't want to have friends like that?
This book was a very emotional read and I loved it even more than the first book in the series. My only complain is that it wasn't long enough. Highly recommend it to every MM fan!

I hold him close, and don’t even question the love I feel for him. I can’t. It’s heavy and palpable. It’s everything I have been missing and makes up for all the time I had been avoiding what was in me. What I was. What I am.

XOXO

Sep 25, 2013

Waiting on Wednesday (#5)


Waiting on Wednesday is weekly meme hosted by Breaking the Spine. Goal is to connect bloggers and readers trough their most anticipated upcoming reads. So, here is what we on Way Too Hot Books can not wait to grab.

Reaper's Legacy (Reapers MC, #2) by Joanna Wylde

Book summary:
"Eight years ago, Sophie gave her heart—and her virginity—to Zach Barrett on a night that couldn’t have been less romantic or more embarrassing. Zach’s step-brother, a steely-muscled, tattooed biker named Ruger, caught them in the act, getting a peep show of Sophie he’s never forgotten.

She may have lost her dignity that fateful night, but Sophie also gained something precious—her son Noah. Unfortunately, Zach’s a deadbeat dad, leaving Ruger to be Noah’s only male role model. When he discovers Sophie and his nephew living in near poverty, Ruger takes matters into his own hands—with the help of the Reapers Motorcycle Club—to give them a better life.

Living with outlaw bikers wasn’t Sophie’s plan for her son, but Ruger isn’t giving her a choice. He’ll be there for Noah, whether she wants him or not. But Sophie does want him, has always wanted him. Now she’ll learn that taking a biker to bed can get a girl dirty in every way…"
Expected publication date: February 4th, 2014.


New season of Sons of Anarchy started, so I'm a little bit hyped. First book in this series was epic and fun read - you can read my review of Reaper's Property here.
Did you read first novel? Are you planning to read sequel? What is on your WoW list this week? Share your thoughts with us in comments, we will come to stalk you back.
And remember - if you like what you see on Way Too Hot Books -
 follow us and tell your friend to to the same too.;)

xoxo,

Sep 23, 2013

(Book Blitz) Hopeless for You by Hayden Hill


Itching for Books and Way Too Hot Books presents you Hayden Hill's One Week Blitz for her debut New Adult Contemporary Romance  Hopeless For You.

Book summary:

"If I am more alive because love burns and chars me, as a fire, given wood or wind, feels new elation, it's that he who lays me low is my salvation, and invigorates the more, the more he scars me."
― Michelangelo

Ash Jensen, a squeaky-clean sophomore at the University of Tennessee, has a trail of baggage a mile long―she buried her fiancé only a year and a half ago. She swore she'd never love again but when she finds herself interned to a yummy Canadian conservation officer that promise is tested big-time. Kade Gyllenhahl sports wild tattoos, a rebellious attitude and a fohawk to die for. He's definitely the wrong man for her and she knows it.

Kade doesn't have time for a girl like her. She's a pretentious, unreadable princess who lives her life by her parents' rules. Kade knows nothing about her past and he'd prefer to keep it that way. Besides, he'll lose his job if he sleeps with Ash. Now if only he could get his mind off her.

When the two of them end up alone and isolated on a routine field trip in the woods, things get a little complicated...

One man afraid of commitment.
One woman afraid to love again.
Two lives.
Two hearts.
One life-changing journey.

Release date: September 19th, 2013
Buy the book: Amazon


 Hopeless for You Excerpt


 *****************************


"You like vodka?" Kade said.
"What?" I glanced at him uncertainly. "That's kind of an odd question. From way out in left field."
"You're half Russian." He was staring at me intensely. "You must like vodka."
"Oh, no." I returned his gaze with equal intensity. Had he felt that tingle when our hands touched, too? Our conversation was all innocent on the outside but I could sense the sexual tension seething on the inside. Neither of us broke eye contact. He wasn't sitting all that far from me. It wouldn't take much to close the gap and wrap my lips around his. "I had vodka once when I was in tenth grade. Almost threw up. Scotch is more my thing."
"Scotch? That's a man's drink."
I shrugged, but didn't break eye contact. "Not really."
"Any preferred brands?" His voice sounded deeper, more sexual. I was starting to lose myself in those eyes.
"I don't know." My voice sounded strange, too. A little breathy. "All kinds of brands. I don't like Jack Daniels, though."
"That's not even scotch. That's whiskey."
"Same thing."
Kade stood up now and edged a little closer. His eyes never left mine. "How can you not like Jack Daniels? That's, like, a Tennessee institution. They make it there, don't they?"
"They do." My heart was beating fast. "But Collier and McKeel is more my thing."
"How do you know so much about all these drinks, anyway?" he said in that deep, slow voice. "The legal age is twenty-one in Tennessee."
I knew my eyes were broadcasting sheer want. He felt it. I'm sure he did, because his eyes fed that want right back at me. "I'm a delinquent."
"You are." He took another step closer. I could hear his breathing now. Deeper. Faster. "Collier and McKeel... remind me to let you try Seagram's 83 sometime. Canadians make the best whiskey. Perfect for a delinquent like you."
"I'm actually more of a wine person. At least I used to be." We were so close now, barely a hand-span away. Those green eyes never left mine, and consumed me.
"Wine? I can see that. I'd peg you as a fan of white. You speak Sauvignon Blanc?" The way he said those French words sounded so sexy.
"I speak champagne," I said huskily. "Dom Perignon makes the most amazing Cristal. White Gold is--" I choked off the words, feeling suddenly like I was drowning, and I turned away from Kade. I couldn't hold back the sudden tears.
After all this time, something so simple as the name of a drink still affected me. I almost hoped Kade would wrap his arms around me and carry me away from the horrors of the past and save me from the guilt, but when I looked at him I saw he'd retreated to the shade again. He was sitting on the log with his arms crossed, facing away from me, staring at the river.
 *****************************

About the Author


Hayden Hill is a New Adult Romance author. Her debut novel, Hopeless for You will be released in September 2013.
Writing HOPELESS FOR YOU was an emotional rollercoaster for Hayden. It started out as a rosebud of an idea which grew into this all-consuming tree. She poured everything into the book, heart and soul. It was a labor of love that’s for sure. They say that great art comes from pain. Well then Hopeless For You is her greatest work yet.
Thanks for giving the book a chance!



Giveaway


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xoxo,

Sep 22, 2013

The Lonely (The Lonely, #1) by Tara Brown




Buy the book:
Author's:
My rating: 5 stars

***Copy of this book provided by publisher and author via NetGalley in exchange for honest review.***






Book summary:

"The truth is subjective to what the lonely lets in.

Emalyn Spicer has lived with it for a long time. She thinks it goes back further than her memories do. She knows it goes back further than the OCD.

When she arrives at college, her OCD's and the lonely refuse to let her have her wish to be normal.

When she meets Sebastian and starts to fall for him, she lets herself believe it's possible to outrun the things chasing her from the past. But how to you get away from the things inside of you? How do you run from yourself?

Just as she gives up and succumbs to the lonely, the unthinkable happens. She finds herself once again trapped in the dark, once again held against her will.

This time she meets the lonely head on. In the darkest corners of her mind, she discovers there is more to her world than she ever imagined. She discovers that the lonely was there for her, protecting her from herself and her secrets.

How far would you go to find yourself?"


     When I picked up this book, I didn't have any idea what should I expect. I knew it was new adult, romance, with few steamy scenes like in all NA books and main heroine with serious problems. I usually troll around Goodreads looking trough my friends' updates and reviews which leads to very bad thing - I figure out everything about books I want to read or end up with such a high expectations that I always end up feeling disappointed because it's never good as I expect it to be. Thank you God, I didn't do that with The Lonely.

     If you read my reviews here or on Goodreads, talked with me about my favorite books, than you know that I love, but seriously, love - twisted, dark, erotic stories with hints of capture-bonding and all other kink that goes with it. I could smell Stockholm syndrome after first ten pages. My inner perv was jumping all over the place and screaming: "Hell, yes! Finally! I am sick of all those lovey-dovey nonsense you've been feeding me lately."

     Oh, thank you holy father Soren for all the dark and fucked up bastards! Now you are thinking what the hell am I talking about and how does Soren, our dearest kinky priest, fits in this story. Well, he doesn't, but that man put all the standard must-haves for sadistic main characters we love so much. Tara Brown gave us one of those in her book. His name is Eli and you are going to kiss the ground he walks on. 

     The story may confuse you, but keep reading. I was lost for a moment while I was reading The Lonely. Why? After that initial euphoria about captive motif, I started losing hope that anything would happen along that lines. I was so wrong. My advice - do not read reviews with lot of synopsis details (we all know too well that some reviewers may get too caught in fangirling mode and they just can't help themselves - I am barely holding my wits together, I'm dying to tell you all). Just take the book in your hands and start reading. You will be surprised to see where it will take you. Also, you just might want to be alone while reading some parts. Your flaming red face might tip you off in front of your mother, not a nice conversation to have - trust me.

     Lost Boy. The companion novel to The Lonely, Lost Boy, was published in July this year. It is told from Eli's point of view and I heard that it is something that you should not miss. I am hyped to see what went trough his crazy head and I'll be reading it soon.

xoxo,

Sep 21, 2013

Wicked Heat (Feel the Heat, #1) by Nicola Marsh




Buy the book:
Author's:
My rating: 4.5 stars

***Copy of the book was provided by publisher, Entangled Brazen, in exchange for honest review.***






Book summary:

"Competitors by day, lovers by night…
Allegra Wilks has had the worst month of her personal and professional life. To save her company, she must go on her would-be honeymoon and land the luxury eco-island resort’s lucrative advertising account. But when a lingerie mishap leads her into the arms of a wickedly distracting Australian, Allegra’s tempted to skip the trip and explore the most sensual kiss she’s ever experienced. Too bad their chance encounter at the airport is just that.

Having recently lost his company to his former best friend’s shady business tactics, Jett Alcott is headed to a South Pacific resort to secure an advertising account that will resurrect his reputation and career. Realizing the tantalizing Allegra Wilks is on his flight, Jett envisions a week filled with business and pleasure. But Jett doesn’t know Allegra’s fighting for the same account, or that there’s more at stake than his heart."


     For starters, I have a confession to make. I love Australia. I love it since the first time I watched Heartbreak High, I think I was eleven years old, and I experienced my first fangirling moment. And don't let me start with amazing authors such as Melina Marchetta, Cath Crowley and Lucy Christopher. Now you understand why I just had to read Wicked Heat. Oh, and this: Jett Alcott looks like Alex O'Loughlin

     Story & Characters. Nicola Marsh is one smart woman. Why? Because she uses the best advantage she has - being a woman means that you know woman's heart and her secret desires really, really well. If you are a writer and your genre of choice is romance, that is something that will help you a lot if you use it wisely. Wicked Heat has everything that makes a good mainstream romance novel:
  1.  lovable female character that will not annoy you and with who you can relate,
  2.  male character that will make you swoon and "ohh" and "ahh", strong, but not too dominant.
     Main focus is on Allegra and Jett. It's all about their relationship, so it's understandable that very little part of the story deals with other characters. They are all in the background, which is good because Wicked Heat wouldn't be a good if it wasn't a case. I would say that this book is perfect choice for beach, but considering rain and low temperatures these last few days, it looks that summer is behind us. But don't let that stop you! If you are allergic on rain (*shivers*) like me, you need to read something that will keep you in your happy, sunny place.  

     But what I liked the most was way too hot part of this book. Of course.;) It is beautifully written without all of the sex-talk that you find in erotic romances - stupid lines is what I hate the most in this type of the books. And, man, Jett Alcott knows how to talk! In the bed and outside of it.

   One tiny little bit detail that I find lacking is the ending - certain parts of it were rushed, but still, that wasn't something that will make me diss Wicked Heat.

     What should you do? Nicola Marsh is writing second book of Feel the Heat series. Wanton Heat will be out sometime around beginning of 2014. which means that you have more than enough time to prepare yourself and meet Aussie hunk, Jett. Now, go, read! And tell me all about it!

xoxo

Sep 19, 2013

Interview with a character: Confessions by Leila DeSint


Book 1: Confessions Collection Vol. 1                                    Book 2: Bond Confessions
Amazon / All Romance / Barnes & Noble /                                 Amazon / All Romance / Smashwords /
Smashwords / Kobo                                                                          Kobo / Barnes & Noble

Summary:

"Descend into a world of deception, depravity, decadence, desire and desperation…

In the opulent setting of London's aristocracy, lives a young woman fractured into two distinct individuals, one face with multiple facets.

One façade, a whore, London Brown, who will confess unfathomable truths, the other, a loving daughter, Desniah Williams will pull back the curtain to reveal what lurks in the shadows. 

Caden Jacob Carrington V, a politician will do anything to reclaim the woman he lost, including dredging up pains of the past. 

Rhys Christos Edward Stowell, a philanthropist will fight to win the woman he loves while baring the darkness of his soul. 

Warning: Depending on the episode London Brown falls under the following: Erotica, BDSM/Kinky, and Dark Erotica/Taboo (dubious/non-consent). Also contains the theme of coping with survival of childhood sexual abuse/assault.


Author's:


Interview:


Hello, fellow readers!

Today I have for you a special interview with a character from one of my favorite series – Confessions by Leila DeSint. It discusses a lot about different topics character, personality and reasons behind person's behavior, especially since it deals with split personality, London and Desniah being the ones here. Caden is a childhood friend of Desniah, the primary personality, and someone that defined her a lot during her younger years. Rhys, on the other hand, became Desniah's friend later on and now they are a couple. But neither Rhys nor Caden, are ordinary and simple persons.


You can find my full reviews for Confessions Collection Vol. 1 and the continuation Bond Confessions HERE and HERE. Half a year ago, after reading the first part, I was intrigued by Rhys and did an interesting, and you can say – different, interview with him. You can find that HERE. And now, I'm beginning to see more of Caden Carrington, the depth of his character. I got more interested in him after Bond Confessions where he found out the awful truth that his father abused Desniah as a child, a woman for whom Caden has a deep, passionate love and can't seem to give up. He's not going out of my head so here are some questions I asked him.

Dear readers, Way Too Hot Books and I are pleased to welcome Mr. Caden Carrington...


I don't mean to be difficult but the name is Caden Jacob Carrington the V just so we're clear. Not to be confused with the IV.
Thank you for having me Iva and Way Too Hot Books.
Though, I have to admit I’m a little surprised. I read your interview with Mr. Stowell and you clearly state you support his desire to be with Des.

You are right, Caden, But since then I have learned much more about you, so you still have a chance to make me change my mind.
Q: First, I'd like for you to describe yourself in three words.

Nicely done, Iva, backing me into a corner on the first question.
 Lost. Convincing. Determined.

Q: Your father is now recovering from an unfortunate incident. Why do you feel so responsible for his company and taking care of him now? I got the impression that you were never close to him and you said that you often don't understand him.

I don't much think about the company but rather the people who work there. If I suddenly decide it's not my problem and the company crumbles due to infighting by the board I've abandoned all those employed there.
 We were never close that's clear to me now. He's just a cold, calculating cowardly monster.

Q: Your parents always had an unsteady and complicated marriage. How important were they to you while growing up?

I had Des. None of their mess mattered when I was with her. Neither my father’s terrorizing nor my mother’s drug induced numbness. It was Des and me against the world and the odds. We had these perfect moments that existed outside of all the screaming and loneliness.

Q: How did you feel when your mother committed suicide?

Numb for the most part. Relief.

In what way did it affect your life?

My mother was never really present. Always withdrawn or medicating herself. When she died for a long time Des was gone too. That was the hardest to bare. So I disconnected from women. Clearly, I didn't know or understand them. How could I when my own mother chose pills and death over raising her son or being a mother to me?
Des shut me out to keep her secret. You tell me what kind of man I became?
All sounds a bit Freudian to me, doesn’t it? My own mother didn’t want me and the woman I loved can’t stand for me to touch her… and yet I still chase her.

They do say that when you love a person, you fight for them. But that is not always a simple thing, ha?
Q: What is your ideal type of a woman?

I want Des in a woman. Hence why after five years and so many women later do I still need her. Despite her inability to share physical intimacy with me, I want her. I always have and I always will.

Q: And Desniah? What did you fall in love about her?

She saw the world and who I could be differently. I loved the dream of the man she believed I could be.
Growing up, I only saw what I was told to see. That people were weak. It was their fault that they were have nots. Not simply as an observation but rather a philosophy.
She opened my eyes. Knocked me off my privilege high horse and made me believe even if you spent your life to accomplish one burning change it was better than giving up on the possibility.
You ask me what I loved about her? When I was with her, she expected nothing less than the best of me. If she saw glimpses of my failings or weaknesses she told me that was when she loved me the most. She taught me that love meant acceptance of the individual as a whole not just of the person’s strengths. I love her strengths but even more her every flaw because they are made up of all that she has overcome.

Those are some really beautiful words, Caden. 
Q: Why do you believe Desniah can save you?

Without her none of it matters. So if she can’t save me from the destructiveness growing inside me than no one can.
                                                                                                           
Why do you feel so connected with her?

From the moment I laid eyes on her she stole my heart and I willingly handed her mine.

Q: Ms. Olivia Landoff said that many men are fascinated by her.

Everyone was drawn to Des. She glowed with life as child and as she matured her easy manner and looks grew men in.

Do you think you are good enough for her?

No. God no. Not in the slightest. Nor do I deserve her. Not after all the ways that I failed her. Yet I cannot stop that my heart still belongs to her.

Q: How do you feel now when the truth about your father is out?

Disgusted, with myself for being blind.

What do you plan to do about it?

I can’t go on forever as though I don’t know. Soon enough, you’ll all find out what I’m going to do about it. I will right this wrong.

I'm very curious about that, too. And I hope you do the smart thing.
Q: The book says: I've chosen to lie for a living, or massage the truth to suit me… A skill I learned at a young age and perfected over the years.“ Why did you choose to lie for a living? Especially from a young age?

Lies are easy. They always were. My mother lied to my father. He lied to us all and I didn’t even realize to what extent. Lies are walls that you erect to create a buffer around you and everyone else.

Are you actually just afraid of the truth?

I believe the truth is relative in the eyes of man. Meaning how we each choose to see it given our own perspective and experiences.

Like how you never revealed your suspicion with Desniah's father that he’s somehow abusing her when you were young?

You don’t think I carry guilt and anger for how I handle the situation. I tried to get her to open up to me about what was going on. You do understand that her father was a member of the siting government at the time. An accusation like that if wrong could ruin lives and scandal everyone involved including her. I did what I thought was right at the time.

Or when you never questioned why your father preferred Desniah and gave her privileges you didn't have. Why did you do that?

He did that for all the little girls around. This was normal for his behaviour. He’d always maintained, he’d been disappointed they had a son and not a daughter. I won’t defend his actions since you know why he preferred them. My mother on the other hand. I’d always pitied her but if she’d known and did nothing, I loath her.

How come things weren't too suspicious to you?

Iva, you have the benefit of seeing my father through Des eyes. You wonder why I didn’t see the monster. I did see a monster. But the one I saw got angry with my mother and I. He cared more about his ambitions than his family.
That monster was less on edge and didn’t go on ragging rants when Des stayed over.
If I’d suspected that the reason was because he was inflicting suffering upon her, I’d have gladly let him yell and hit us to spare her.

Q: What is your greatest fear?

That as Des seems to she blames herself for what happened. I'd rather relieve her self-hatred and she hold me responsible for failing her as you seem to than watch her destroy herself.

Sincerely,
Caden J. Carrington V

Thank you for this interview, Caden! Sorry if it made you feel a little interrogated and defensive, but it has helped a lot to understand your feeling for Desniah.

.............................

There you go, readers. Here we have a man very much in love and holding strong to the feelings he has for Desniah. That is a man that wants to protect the best thing that happened to him, It's on us to wait for the next novellas to see what happens. Who will end up with Desniah? Is it Rhys, the one she seems to want right now, or will Caden change that? Maybe Rhys is the wrong choice. What do you think? 

Read the Confessions for all the details of this amazing story!

Until next time, 

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