Innocents by Cathy Coote (Autumn Taboo Review)

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Genre:
contemporary, realistic fiction, dark, new adult

BOOK SUMMARY:

Written when Cathy Coote was nineteen, Innocents is a taut, wickedly clever descent into the anatomy of an obsession, the debut of a precociously assured and provocative young literary voice. Forcing someone vulnerable and naive into a sexual relationship to satisfy a twisted desire is perverted, even evil.
But when the perpetrator is a sixteen-year-old schoolgirl, is she culpable?
And if the victim is her thirty-four-year-old teacher, shouldn't he have known better?
When the nameless young narrator of Innocents decides to seduce her teacher, she immediately realizes that the power of her sexuality is greater than she ever imagined.
She leaves the aunt and uncle who are her guardians and moves in with her teacher; 

together, they quickly embark on a journey into their darkest desires.
Unforgettable, disturbing, and morally complex, Innocents permanently unsettles our notions of innocence, experience, and power, and suggests that we all are culpable.

RATING:

MY REVIEW:

"My darling, all of this is my fault.
I know you think your to blame for what happened.
You’re wrong, my love.
I’ve been guilty all along..."

SHE is a 16 year old manipulative, cold, calculating and sadistic control freak and she is aggressor here. This Lolita , seed of evil, who's also the protagonist isn't even likable. She lives with her aunt and uncle who "don't understand her", and spends time drawing pornographic and sadistic sketches where she is the one in control and inflicting pain and humiliation on her female school friends.
This book is written in the form of a letter that this girl is writing to her ex-lover, teacher, to explain her side of things...

"I wasn´t born innocent.
My instincts were vicious, predatory, from the start.
When I met you, I had been a voyeur as long as I´d had eyes.
My very reflexes were sadistic.
The ascent of my reason from the animal ways of infanthood served only to give a form to my state,
as a painter gives shape to a colour.
It seemed I learned to think in order to fantasise."

HE is the 34-year-old teacher and he begins by worshipping this girl from afar because he knows how morally wrong it would be for him to act upon his desire. He puts her on her a pedestal and becomes obsessed with her, but from afar.
She initiates everything, she manipulates him and seduces and controls. She is really topping him from below.
But...she teased and pushed and pushed "her darling" (the teacher) until his untamed sexual beast was unleashed and he hurt her in the unforgivable way. She awakened something violent and kinky in this poor guy and she is devastated just because that one time she wasn´t in control...

WHO IS GUILTY HERE?

In this extraoridinarily dark psihosexual book they are both innocents: 

she´s inexperienced but manipulative aggressor, and he is naive but experienced victim.

"I understood that there is another path of innocence: that it can be attained like wisdom.
I knew that I am a kind of Holy Innocent, after all. One of God´s special cases.
Blundering around inside my own instincts, handicapped.
I´m like a Holy Idiot; a retarded child who is closer to Heaven because of his disability.
A kind of holy pervert, who struggles every day to be good"

It´s extraoridinary that author Cathy Coote was only 19 years old when she wrote this extremely complex book. Whole the time I was wondering where were aunt and uncle all this time and why they never done anything to stop her from running away from home. I thought that this was some plot hole. But, later I found out that in Australia, where this story takes place, the age of consent is 16.

BE AWARE: This IS NOT a romatic love story!

Sexual scenes are too graphic and obscene. They were detailed, but I didn't think they were horrific.

 I can't recommend this as a general read, but for those interested in the subject matter of Lolita Complex or student-teacher relationship.

Until next time,

stay naughty...

Boy Toy by Barry Lyga (Autumn Taboo Review)

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Genre:
contemporary, realistic fiction

BOOK SUMMARY:

Josh Mendel has a secret. Unfortunately, everyone knows what it is.
Five years ago, Josh’s life changed.

 Drastically.
And everyone in his school, his town—seems like the world—thinks they understand.
But they don’t—they can’t.
And now, about to graduate from high school, Josh is still trying to sort through the pieces.
First there’s Rachel, the girl he thought he’d lost years ago.
She’s back, and she’s determined to be part of his life, whether he wants her there or not.
Then there are college decisions to make, and the toughest baseball game of his life coming up,
and a coach who won’t stop pushing Josh all the way to the brink.
And then there’s Eve. 

Her return brings with it all the memories of Josh’s past.
It’s time for Josh to face the truth about what happened.
If only he knew what the truth was . . .

RATING:

MY REVIEW:

"I was molested. When I was twelwe.
And everyone in the world knew it except for me."

I am left speechless.
This story is real and unforgettable.
It isn't a story about the forbidden teacher/student love that many fantisize about, this story is the realism behind what actually goes into the waters of female teacher to male student molestation, down the path of paedophilia.
Writing is so realistic that sometimes I had a feeling that I was in the room with Mrs. Sherman and Josh.

This is the story of seduction and the life afterwards told by Josh Mendel,
the victim who takes full responsibility for what an adult did to him when he was twelve years old.
As a 12 year old boy he, like the every other boy in his class, had a crush on his history teacher,
Mrs Evelyn Sherman a.k.a. Eve.
Soon, he was sucked into a very adult and inappropriate relationship with her.
The truth emerges when Josh attends a birthday party for one of his friends, Rachel,
and a game of spin the bottle gets out of hand...
Five years later, he´s a high school graduate without ever having a normal, healthy relationship,
especially not one with a girl his own age.
He is angry and hostile, and he fights his own inner feelings about Eve,
even while battling a growing attraction with a Rachel, his old friend who revealed his affair long time ago...

Although he´s some kind of sport and math genius, Josh is traumatized and he feels permanently damaged.
His family is dysfunctional and he gots these flickers from the past all the time:

"-there, yes, THERE-
-God oh God oh God-
-stop teasing me, you naughty...oh God yesss-"

 "Lying there, I´ve figured out what the flickers are.
 They´re my punishment.
 It´s no coincidence that they started that day that I stood in Eve´s bedroom,
 taking my first stepstoward her, toward my sin, my downfall.
 The flickers are my past, constantly reignited, hammering at me from below and beneath and behind."

 Was it an excellent book? Unquestionably!

 Why I gave it 4 (4,5) stars? Because it was too much baseball stuff in it.

My favorite quote:
 

"See, forgiveness doesn´t happen all at once.
It´s not an event- it´s a process.
Forgiveness happens while you´re asleep, while you´re dreaming, while you´re in line at the coffee shop, while you´re showering, eating, farting, jerking off.
It happens in the back of your mind, and then one day you realize that you don´t hate the person anymore, that your anger has gone away somewhere.
And you understand. You´ve forgiven them.
You don´t know how or why. It sneaked up on you. It happened in the small spaces between thoughts and in the seconds between ideas and blinks.
That´s where forgiveness happens.
Because anger and hatred, when left unfed, bleed away like air from a punctured tire, over time and days and years.
Forgiveness is stealth.
At least, that´s what I hope."

Until next time,

stay naughty...

 

A Different Blue by Amy Harmon (Autumn Taboo Review)

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My rating: 3.5 stars

Book summary:

"Blue Echohawk doesn't know who she is. She doesn't know her real name or when she was born. Abandoned at two and raised by a drifter, she didn't attend school until she was ten years old. At nineteen, when most kids her age are attending college or moving on with life, she is just a senior in high school. With no mother, no father, no faith, and no future, Blue Echohawk is a difficult student, to say the least. Tough, hard and overtly sexy, she is the complete opposite of the young British teacher who decides he is up for the challenge, and takes the troublemaker under his wing.

This is the story of a nobody who becomes somebody. It is the story of an unlikely friendship, where hope fosters healing and redemption becomes love. But falling in love can be hard when you don't know who you are. Falling in love with someone who knows exactly who they are and exactly why they can't love you back might be impossible."

      I did not expect this! Amy Harmon is one of the authors that few weeks back was quite anonymous, but after the hype surrounding Making Faces, she went on the list of authors you should look out for. I have to say I was sceptic because every time my Goodreads buddies start menage-gushing over some book or author, it looks like a set up (to be a complete bitch now) or I start to doubt their judgement after reading their latest object of affection. I believe it is understandable why I didn't expect very much when I started reading A Different Blue.

      Is this a romance novel? In my opinion, it is not. Does it talks about taboo relationship? Again my answer would be no. Then what it is about? Real life drama with a little bit of mystery and romance and a lot of melodrama but put in this nice package that it could fool you how it is not one of those type of books. Quite enjoyable read.

      Problem? There are several of them. Number one. British teacher cliche. Number two. Why does hot teacher always have to be so young? And tell me, do teachers start to work that young in American schools anyway? That is hard to believe. Number three? Bad girl who is actually not so bad cliche. Number four? It is not enough to include one sob story, but there have to be additional few. Number five? Family secrets melodrama. What is this? Spanish soap opera with its "I am my father's mother" plot twists?

      Why did I like it in the end? I did not expected the way story will go - blurb made me believe that it would be quite different, I thought it would be more similar to Losing It by Cora Carmack. Main focus of the story is on Blue and her inner struggles, all of the reasons why she had to grow up so fast and difficult decisions she had to make. In a way, writing reminded me a little bit of Megan Hart with all wisdom and thinking about important things. Other thing that goes in favor to A Different Blue is that story doesn't go always as you would want it to go.

     Who should read it? Everyone who read Making Faces and loved it. Everyone who likes their books with little bit more depth.

xoxo,

(Autumn Taboo Review) Want by Stephanie Lawton

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Author's:

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Summary:

"Julianne counts the days until she can pack her bags and leave her old-money, tradition-bound Southern town where appearance is everything and secrecy is a way of life. A piano virtuoso, she dreams of attending a prestigious music school in Boston. Failure is not an option, so she enlists the help of New England Conservatory graduate Isaac Laroche to help her.

She can’t understand why he suddenly gave up Boston’s music scene to return to the South. He doesn’t know her life depends on escaping it. Julianne must face down madness from without, just as it threatens from within. Isaac must resist an inappropriate attraction, but an indiscretion at a Mardi Gras ball-the pinnacle event for Mobile’s elite-forces their present wants and needs to collide with sins of the past.

Will Julianne accept the help she’s offered and get everything she ever wanted, or will she self-destruct and take Isaac down with her?"

Rating:

Review:

Want turned out to be much more then I expected. 

As part of our new feature - Autumn Taboo, we are reading books about student/teacher relationships. This book, in its basis, it about that. Julianne Becker is a 17 year-old talented piano-player and is preparing for her audition for New England Conservatory. After her mentor gets sick, comes the mysterious Isaac Laroche who himself graduated in NEC. Who better to teach her?

So it started really great, big potential with Julianne slowly recognizing Isaac as a man. She's an abused teenager with a psychologically sick mother and a lot of pressure for her future. The hot and very intense new teacher coming in the picture is no help. It's no surprise how she had self-esteem problems and was very conflicted about everything in her life. Slowly, she went totally whack-o and even though her actions would normally make me hate her, I really didn't. Julianne was batshit crazy and totally freaky at times, and she annoyed the hell out of me most of the time. But she was supposed to. I was actually fascinated and started to love the story even more.

“We don't always get what we want. And sometimes, when we do, it's not worth the price.”

And Isaac was not less interesting. With the whole town judging him about a past relationship and how it turned out (which I will not spoiler to you), coming to like your new teenage student is so far from what he needs right now it's not even funny. And that whacks with your mind too. He found himself in a delicate situation where want, need, ethics and destiny are all having a hell of a battle.

So who is to blame when two damaged people go even more off the deep end together? Julianne, I can understand, but that doesn't mean Isaac is the bad guy here.

See? Saying this is a book about student/teacher relationship would be totally wrong. Telling you that it's about an abused girl who was just trying to chase her dreams and wants is not enough too. This is a book where grave mistakes are made, actions are done that drive these two to madness, but redemption is still possible. And the ending showed just that. It was very open, anything could happen, but a light shines in that darkness. Julianne just has to fight to keep it.

It was beautiful.

Until next time, 

The Yearning by Kate Belle (Autumn Taboo Review)

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My rating: 5 stars

Book summary: 

“I want to reveal myself to you… I need your eyes to see, your hands to touch, your spirit to acknowledge that which I hold most deeply and secretly in my heart. My yearning for you.”

It’s 1978 in a country town and a dreamy fifteen year old girl’s world is turned upside down by the arrival of the substitute English teacher. Solomon Andrews is beautiful, inspiring and she wants him like nothing else she’s wanted in her short life.

Charismatic and unconventional, Solomon easily wins the hearts and minds of his third form English class. He notices the attention of one girl, his new neighbour, who has taken to watching him from her upstairs window. He assumes it a harmless teenage crush, until erotic love notes begin to arrive in his letterbox.

Solomon knows he must resist, but her sensual words stir him. He has longings of his own, although they have nothing to do with love, or so he believes. One afternoon, as he stands reading her latest offering in his driveway, she turns up unannounced. Each must make a choice, the consequences of which will haunt them until they meet again twenty years later.

My review: 

Oh I quite liked this book, how best to summarize it? It’s haunting, beautiful, poetic, sensual and melancholic, all at the same time.

Book begins with Solomon Andrews moving into town, he’s a new teacher. A free spirit, enjoying casual sex and without ever having a serious relationship or intention of one.  Main female character, whose name is not mentioned, starts looking him from her bedroom window and very soon she’s bewitched. Solomon is aware of her watching, and thinks it’s just a teenage crush, but after some months and she’s still not bored, letters start to arrive at his doorstep. And they’re his undoing. Beautiful, erotic letters that he can’t resist. 

So he doesn’t. The two of them start a secret affair. She thinks of him as her god, she’s 16 and completely in love, whereas he enjoys her fresh skin and innocent youth and he’s giving her an education, a sexual one, teaching her all about pleasure and secrets of sexuality. 

This first part of the book was quite interesting, we see her ignorance and innocence, she’s completely unaware of how he sees her, she’s childishly obsessed with him, thinking they’re soulmates, divine and meant to be. 

Then comes the second part, some 20 years later. We’re following her story of unsuccessful relationships. She could never forget Solomon, to get over him, in her mind he always stayed a god, untouched, no one compared to him. Because the only way she connected with Solomon was through sex, she seeked that with other men too. But they couldn’t give her what he could, so she’d always end up disappointed. She kept imagining, dreaming, contemplating, searching and waiting. Hoping for him to find her one day and proclaim his undying love for her. 

All throughout the book MC is referred to as SHE, her name is omitted, in fact it is the last word in the book. It is a metaphor, of her trying to find, reclaim herself.  After she’s married, with child, she indeed does meet Solomon again. And then she realized that what she wanted was a fantasy. How she spent all her life living with a memory. 

The main reason I enjoyed this book is its writing style, so sensual and poetic. It’s a book about lust and love, about trying to find love through lust.

The only thing I liked a bit less is the MC, her blindness and inability to see the truth, all the while she’s so passive, quietly suffering and wasting her days. But I loved the ending, how the story came full circle, how she came to all the revelations by herself.

All in all, a wonderful read!

xx,

Taming the Beast by Emily Maguire (Autumn Taboo Review)

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First published: 2004.

My rating: 4 stars

Book summary:

"At the tender age of fourteen, Sarah Clark is seduced by her thirty-eight-year-old English teacher, Daniel Carr, and becomes entangled in an illegal, erotic, passionate, and dangerous affair, a vicious meeting of minds and bodies that ends badly. Devastated by grief and longing, Sarah embarks upon a series of meaningless self-abasing sexual encounters, hoping to reclaim the intensity of that first relationship. Then, seven years later, Carr unexpectedly returns and Sarah is drawn again into a destructive coupling. Now that she is no longer an innocent young girl, is she strong enough to finally tame the beast within her?
A modern Lolita, Taming the Beast is an emotionally unflinching and alluring tale that introduces a powerful new writer."

      What did just happen? Again I am in position where I have no clue how to write review. It took me some time before I could make myself sit down and say something coherent and not sound like little kid that's just learning how to talk. Taming the Beast is not book for everyone. It deals with so many twisted, messed up things - I can't decide with to begin with. Taming the Beast could open up some old wounds if you were victim of abuse so think carefully before you pick up this book.

      I'll have to insert few spoilers. This is not kinky, dark erotica. This is not the book that plays with your sexual fantasies. Taming the Beast is the story about abuse and way it affects lives of everyone involved. Told from perspective of Sarah and her best friend Jamie, it deals with subject of pedophilia and sexual abuse. Sarah was only fourteen years old when she had sex for the first time - in the classroom, with her teacher who is twenty four years older than her. I will repeat - he is her 24 years older teacher. Now you probably think it was a rape. Well, that is a tricky part - it would probably be a rape if Sarah didn't react the way she did. (And you are confused! I know, trust me. I figured some things out much later.) But does it make okay? Hell no!

        But the story doesn't stop there - we will get a fast forward and meet Sarah again - this time she is very smart and beautiful college student known for her sexual exploits and Jamie, her only friend who knows the truth, as her constant guardian. She is epitome of liberated woman, but just on the outside - everything she does is because Sarah is broken and doesn't know how to deal. Her reckless actions doesn't affect only her, but everyone around her.

      What made this book so intriguing is the way author gave you this two possible outcomes - what might have happened years back while she had set across from Jamie first time she met him and what did happen with Mr. Carr, and years later again - what might have happen if Mr. Carr didn't came back. All "might-haves" are there between the lines and your heart breaks for that girl who never really grow up and the boy who tried to save her all his life. It's not just Sarah who was victim of abuse, in some indirect way Jamie was victim too.

      Emily Maguire doesn't just talk about victims - she goes one step further and gets in the head of abuser. You will realize just how horrific everything actually was when you read about his motivation and reasons for his actions. Both him and Sarah are victims and abusers at the same time.

      Should you read this book? I honestly do not know. If you think that you can deal with this topic, you should - Taming the Beast is not light read and it's not novel about secret fantasies that should give you few hours of mindless fun. This is a kind of book that will hunt you for the rest of your life.

xoxo,

(Autumn Taboo Guest Post) Hey teachers! Leave those kids alone! by S. Walden

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Book summary:

"Cadence Miller is a good girl. She just happens to make one terrible mistake her junior year in high school which costs her ten months in juvenile detention. Now a senior, she’s lost everything: her best friend, the trust of her parents, driving privileges, Internet access. It’s a lonely existence.

But there is one bright spot: Mark Connelly, her very cute, very off-limits 28-year-old calculus teacher. She falls hard for him—a ridiculous schoolgirl crush headed nowhere. She can’t help it. He’s the only good thing at Crestview High. She doesn’t expect him to reciprocate her feelings. How inappropriate, right? But he does. And he shows her.
And that’s when her life goes from bad to good."

     My Too Good series keeps lending itself to Pink Floyd songs, so I’ll just go with it. Speaking of, did anyone catch Cadence’s subtle Pink Floyd reference in Good when she’s talking to Avery in the cafeteria about how she feels? She describes herself as “comfortably numb.”

    Yeah, music is a big deal in this series. It drives my characters. It sheds light on my characters. It heals and comforts them. It speaks for them when they don’t have the words. It’s no coincidence that I named my heroine “Cadence.” And it’s no coincidence that it’s her and no one else Mark feels compelled to pursue: “How could he ever forget that name? Cadence. Rhythmic. His song. His life. He decided that afternoon on the side of the road. She was his cadence.” There’s a little teaser for you from the upcoming sequel.

     But music aside, I incorporate a lot of elements in my student/teacher series that buck the trends. And I really wasn’t prepared for the controversy my book would generate. After all, I’m far from the first author to write on such a taboo subject. But I suppose it’s the way I went about it—pushing the limits just a bit too far with a story set in high school and a heroine who starts out at seventeen. Didn’t matter that a sexual relationship between a 28-year-old and seventeen-year-old is perfectly legal in the state of Georgia. Because in the minds of some readers, it was never going to be okay.

     I’m usually pretty good about doing my market research before giving myself the go-ahead on a book. Normally I like to see what’s trending and what readers are interested in devouring before I invest a massive amount of time in a story. I definitely don’t pander, but I also don’t want to waste my time and my readers’ time. Time is precious, after all. There are a lot of books out there to read! So I did some research and discovered that most student/teacher books toe a safe line. The line includes the following “acceptable” elements to include (or not) in this type of taboo story:

1.    College setting (Somehow a college freshman is viewed as light years ahead in maturity than a high school senior . . . *shrug*)
2.    No drastic age difference (This is so readers only have to grapple with lukewarm moral dilemmas: breaking school rules, taking advantage of being in a position of authority, etc.)
3.    Ultra mature heroine (Again, this tends to justify the relationship. She’s wise beyond her years, so the relationship is okay.)
4.    No references to God or religious talk of any kind, thank you very much.

     I totally understand why writers go this route. It’s safe. I mean, no one wants to be called a “SEX PERVERT” in an Amazon review or have her hero referred to as a “child predator,” “creep,” and “manipulator.” Then again, if I’m going to be true to my story, I recognize it’s the chance I take, and I can’t fault the reader for feeling uncomfortable, for getting angry, for feeling like she was reading something immoral. Evoking those types of emotions from readers is just as good as the positive ones. I made you feel. And that’s the point.

     So yeah . . . I have no idea what all my market research was really for because I didn’t include any of the above-mentioned staples. I didn’t play it safe by setting the story in college, though I’m aware that it could have been received completely differently. I didn’t start my heroine at eighteen, and horror of horrors, I wrote a realistic seventeen-year-old girl! I made her moody and petulant and insightful and sweet and bitchy and jealous and awkward and naive and all the things that are so distinctly “teenage girl.” And then I paired her with a 28-year-old man who is the exact opposite, though he does have his own moments of utter immaturity. Don’t we all? I topped it off with a religious cherry, and that did it. How dare my Christian heroine have sex outside of marriage!

     So why did I do it? Well, because despite what I learned about student/teacher books and how to play it safe, I couldn’t ignore the characters who burst in my brain. They told me what they wanted. They told me how the story should go. And I’ve no desire or intention to ever play it safe with my literature because I’m scared of its reception. Can’t do it. Won’t do it. To me, the risk of writing Cadence’s and Mark’s story and giving it to the public was well worth it. I believed in it. I believed in them. Still do, actually.

      More importantly, though, is the idea of reality. I write realistic fiction. It’s not always easy to read. There are cringe-worthy moments. Moments that will make you blush. Moments that will make you scream, “Oh, no she didn’t!” Moments that will piss you off. And that’s okay. A story like this one is bound to elicit those kinds of reactions. It wouldn’t be good if it didn’t. As an author, I’m much more interested in making my readers feel something. I don’t care what that is as long as they’re engaged, challenged in some way, experiencing some sort of emotion. If I played it safe with Good and Better, all of that would be lost. The story, to me, would be meaningless, because I don’t know about you, but I want my literature to affect me in some way. Whether it makes me angry or explodes like sunshine in my heart, I want to feel the characters, journey with them, and come out on the other side with new insights: good, bad, or better.

About author
S. Walden used to teach English before making the best decision of her life by becoming a full-time writer. She lives in Georgia with her very supportive husband who prefers physics textbooks over fiction and has a difficult time understanding why her characters must have personality flaws. She is wary of small children, so she has a Westie instead. Her dreams include raising chickens and owning and operating a beachside inn on the Gulf Coast (chickens included). When she's not writing, she's thinking about it.

Find S. Walden:

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(Autumn Taboo) Interview with S. Walden, Author of Good + Giveaway

       Yesterday we hosted cover reveal for second (and final) book in Too Good series by S. Walden - Better and you had an opportunity to read our review for first book, Good. We are excited because S. Walden agreed to answer few of our question and she is giving away 2 e-copies of Good.

Find the author:

Website Blog Facebook Twitter Goodreads

Buy the books:

Good:  Amazon

Better:  Comming out on November 19th

Goodreads:

Good - Better

WTHB: Thank you for being with us today We just hope that we won't scare you away with our questions. Let's start with a easy one. When did you realize that you wanted to be a writer?

      I started seriously writing at fourteen, but I didn’t know that I wanted to do it professionally until the financial crisis. I had just completed my Masters and couldn’t find a teaching job anywhere, so I created a job for myself. Best decision I ever made because I’ve discovered that it’s the best job I’ve ever had. Is it hard? Yes. Time-consuming? Uh, yeah. There’s no such thing as weekends in my world anymore. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything because I love what I do.

WTHB:  Was it hard to publish your first novel? Who was the first person that read it?

      I published my debut novel, Hoodie, through Amazon’s self-publishing platform. So no, it wasn’t hard to actually publish it once I figured out how to format correctly. The hard part was learning how to market successfully. I’d never heard of book blogs. I had no idea how to get my name out there. I literally just pressed PUBLISH and thought that was all it took! I’ve come a long way since then—learning all about the book world, making connections with really great bloggers, discovering new ways to promote my work. Branding myself. Spreading the word. It really is true that an indie author spends more time promoting and marketing than writing. I always say that writing the novel is the easy part.

WTHB: I believe that books we read can tell a lot about who we are, especially those we mark as favorites. What are your favorite books? How much the fact that you used to work as teacher influence your choices?

      Well, nothing about being a former teacher has influenced my writing other than I want people to feel something when they read my work. Literature should influence in some way, though I leave that up to the reader how she wants to be affected by the words on the page. Two of my favorite books are Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya. I think you’re right: the books we love are definitely a reflection of who we are. I love Atlas Shrugged because I believe in personal freedom, accountability, and choice. I love Bless Me, Ultima because it taught me that the spiritual framework we’re given as children may not suffice when we grow older. And that’s okay. Reworking a foundation isn’t necessarily a bad thing. People should constantly grow and change, after all. That same theme runs throughout Good.

WTHB: Speaking about being a teacher, I have to ask you something. You wrote a book about relationship between student and teacher. I had  hard time wrapping my mind about some of the things Mark did because I couldn't just forget what I do for a living and my work ethic. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed reading Good, I liked it, but all the time I wasn't able to get my consciousness to shut up. What made you write story like that?

      I’m glad you couldn’t get your conscience to shut up. If it did, then I wouldn’t have done my job. There’s no way the book couldn’t bother you. It’s meant to. Or at the very least, it’s meant to encourage some sort of dilemma on your end—moral, ethical, social. I honestly didn’t think about the fact that I was a former teacher when I wrote this story. Didn’t come into the equation. I was much more focused on telling a realistic story about a high school girl and her teacher who find real love. It’s not perfect by any means. It’s messy, embarrassing, awkward, weird at times. That’s realistic. And it’s also true.

WTHB: How did your ex-colleagues react when they saw what it's about? Did they read it? It probably wasn't easy deciding to publish a book about such a taboo topic.

      I have one ex-colleague I still talk to, and I don’t think she’s gotten to Good yet. She just finished Going Under. I imagine her reaction would be the standard, “I don’t know about this. I like it, but I don’t. I’m rooting for them, but I don’t want to. I’m conflicted and confused.” Well, I supposed that’s how I’d hope she’d feel.  As far as deciding to publish a taboo story, I thought this one was much “safer” than Going Under. I mistakenly thought that because Georgia’s age of consent law is 16 and over, there’d be no issue with the age difference. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Did it make me question publication after the fact? Not really. If the story makes a reader uncomfortable or even enraged, she is perfectly within her right not to read it.

WTHB: One of the things I've noticed is that religion plays a big, important part in Good. Was it something that is part of your own upbringing or you used it for different reasons?

      Yes. I grew up with a Christian framework that didn’t seem to jive as I grew older. It was difficult for me as a teenager to reconcile my personal relationship with God to the expectations of church culture. It wasn’t until my mid-20s when I finally decided to ignore that culture in favor of nurturing my own spirituality. Think Anne Rice divorcing herself from Christianity. Did she divorce herself from Christ? Absolutely not. She divorced herself from the church.

      I wanted Cadence to grow up with a Christian framework because I wanted her to struggle spiritually as she embarks on her illicit affair with Mark. I wanted to raise questions like “What does it mean to be good?” “How does one show goodness?” “Are you still good if you make mistakes?” because I feel like sometimes fundamental Christian viewpoints are too black and white. I grew up with black and white, but I don’t believe for a second that the human condition is black and white. We’re too complicated for that. So yeah, religion is important in this story because it raises important questions for the heroine that she must grapple with. Religion isn’t meant to teach the reader a damn thing. It’s meant to grow the main character.

WTHB: I saw on Goodreads that a lot of readers labeled it as Young Adult novel? Was your intention to write YA?

      It really isn’t Young Adult fiction. It’s New Adult fiction. YA is for a younger crowd. NA is for an older one. I don’t really care how people label my work, though. I hate genres. I wish I could be genre-less, but that’s impossible if I want to market my books. I do think it can become confusing, though, to see Good labeled YA simply because of the targeted age group for that genre. That’s why, as much as I despise them, I include disclaimers at the end of my book descriptions. No room for misunderstanding when you let your readers know what to expect from your books in terms of sex, drugs, language, and violence.

WTHB: How do you manage to deal  with people who think how authors such as yourself are using taboo topics just to get bigger sales? I know that your other two novels are far from being light reads too.

      Well, I’ll start by saying that I don’t think taboo stories generate more sales, and I certainly don’t write the stories I do because I think they’ll make me mad money. I don’t think many readers feel that way either. I never set out to be this indie writer who pens “controversial” stories. It just happened that way with every book I published because I was writing stories that didn’t quite fit the mold. There’s kind of a formula for New Adult fiction right now, and my stories don’t fit that formula. So what seems so taboo is just a story that hasn’t been done, or hasn’t been done often. You’re right, though: my stories aren’t light reads. Just the nature of what I enjoy writing.

WTHB: Do you have idea what will you write about next?

      Yes, but I’m refraining from sharing quite yet. All I can say is that it’ll be my last NA story set in high school for a good, long while. And it’ll be a stand-alone.

WTHB: Any words of wisdom for the end?:)

      Words of wisdom, huh? Hmmm. I guess to readers I’d encourage you to trust the story. Happily-ever-afters have their place, but feel-good literature is easily forgotten. Take a chance on stories that aren’t contrived. Even if the ending makes you cry.

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xoxo,

 

Good (Too Good, #1) by S. Walden (Autumn Taboo Review)

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Published: August 26th, 2013.

Penny Press Publishing

My rating: 4 stars

 Book summary:

"Cadence Miller is a good girl. She just happens to make one terrible mistake her junior year in high school which costs her ten months in juvenile detention. Now a senior, she’s lost everything: her best friend, the trust of her parents, driving privileges, Internet access. It’s a lonely existence.

But there is one bright spot: Mark Connelly, her very cute, very off-limits 28-year-old calculus teacher. She falls hard for him—a ridiculous schoolgirl crush headed nowhere. She can’t help it. He’s the only good thing at Crestview High. She doesn’t expect him to reciprocate her feelings. How inappropriate, right? But he does. And he shows her.

And that’s when her life goes from bad to good."

      I have no idea how to start this review. Was Good what I expected? Did I like it? Hate it? Was I completely turned on after reading steamy scenes? And then disgusted by myself because he is her teacher? Not to mention ten years older? Is this a story about abuse? Could it be considered as darker romance novel? What was the point with all religious aspects of the story? Well, one thing is sure - this is taboo read.

      You shall have no sex before you're married. I have to start with a thing that bothered me the most. Too much religion talk. Cadence is seventeen years old girl (almost eighteen) who lives in extremely religious community - everything she does must be approved by her "Church". Like any teenager, Cadence tests boundaries of her world which leads her to some stupid choices and ten months in juvenile detention. Now she is "spawn of Satan" and there is no redemption for her mistakes - her parents, her ex-best friend Grace, her youth group at church and whole damn school are picking on her. It doesn't matter that she was a poster child for good girl before incident that got her in trouble.
With all due respect, I do not like religious ideology and that's why I'm hesitant to pick up books that promote that kind of view point.I probably wouldn't have read Good if I knew. Sad thing is that it would be a bad move because it turned out to be a good novel no matter my initial pouting when I realized what it's about. S. Walden is actually dealing with all the things community like that teach you and points out that life is not that simple and that even there you can find lot of things that "good Christians" shouldn't be doing. Now, this doesn't mean that she rejects her beliefs completely - she just talks about things that should be changed and aren't very logical.

      Abuse or romance? Or maybe both? I have to set few things straight. I've noticed that lot of books  about student/teacher affairs have one common thing in plot - they meet and hook up before they realize that they shouldn't have. He always thinks that she is older and she always thinks that he is younger or college student. Then you sit and wonder how the hell could he think that? Wasn't it obvious that she is still in high school? I have a question for you? Have you ever teach in high school, especially older kids? I have. I had honor to meet smart and eloquent girls for whom I believe have a really bright future and will make great lawyers, doctors, journalists or even teachers. And they are drop dead gorgeous. Stunning. Beautiful. I am so proud of every single one of them. Now, if I saw them out side of school hallways and classrooms, I would never guess that they are seventeen, eighteen years old. (Unless, of course, you get to talk with them about school.) So, it could happen.
Now, about teachers. Have you ever saw one of your younger teachers on Saturday night? Having fun with his/hers friends, wearing completely different clothes, smiling, drinking? Having fun? Not looking like that gloomy person that talks about responsibility or how all class will fail the next test if they don't start to study soon? We don't tend to think about our teachers as real persons that have a life outside their classrooms. Someone who has 28 years is still young and in some aspects not so different from his or her students. So, it could happen.

      Good has a different approach - Cadence and Mark meet before, but they saw each other just for a short time and they exchanged few words. Nothing bad or scandalous. Everything happens slowly and you get to see everything behind sexy scenes and "excitement of forbidden romance" (that is basically what most of the books are about). S. Walden had done good job with describing their interaction - it is believable, because you catch on the age difference between them, how naive Cadence still is no matter her smarts and wit, Marc is older, more experienced and sometimes you get the feeling like he's the "predator" in the whole situation. Everywhere Cadence turns, there he is. But she is not stupid girl and she confronts him several times asking him if he's using her. This is not a story that talks just about forbidden lovers fantasy - it deals with consequences and social aspects (partially). I wouldn't label this book as fluffy romance - at times it was like I was reading a story about mental abuse. Maybe he loves her, but I can not justify a lot of his actions. They just felt wrong.

       Is this something you should let your teenage daughter to read? In my opinion, Good by S. Walden is not young adult novel no matter the fact that narrator of the story is high school student. Just like Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma, this book deals with very sensitive subject that needs a more serious reading and not just teen swooning over star crossed lovers. But when you say: "You are forbidden to read/do this!" it's more likely that they would do the exact thing you told them not to, so it's probably more wiser to talk with your kids openly and clear some things out from the beginning. Also, this book can be described as erotic romance - there are a lot of sex scenes and maybe you wouldn't be comfortable with your sixteen year old daughter reading some of them.

      How does it make me feel? One of the things that define us as persons is what we do for living. When you are young, you think how you'll never be like grown ups in your life, but that is something that happens and you don't even notice it. You grow up and start to think trough about everything that you do or say. That is why I can't forget my job while I read this novel. If I had read this book ten, eight years ago, I would be all heartbroken and cheering for Cadence and Mark. But that is not the case. I can not ignore my work ethic and say that whole situation is okay because they are in love. I understand circumstances that lead to everything, but I still think that Mark as teacher abused his position. Don't get me wrong - I very much enjoyed reading this book, but I guess that I grow up and I can't simply swoon over forbidden romance without thinking about what is right thing to do.

      Will you read it? I know that this was one of my longer posts, that most of you gave up reading it after first half, but I had to clarify few things. So, have you read Good? Did you like it? Are planning to read it? And are okay with teens reading stories like this?

      Come back again tomorrow... because S. Walden agreed to answer few of my questions, but also she will be giving away 2 e-copies of Good. Also, earlier today we posted cover reveal for Better - you can also get ARC copy of the sequel. On Saturday S. Walden is talking about student/teacher topic in books. Do not miss it! 

xoxo,

(Cover Reveal) Better (Too Good, #2) by S. Walden

Title: Better (Too Good #2)
Author: S. Walden
Expected Release: November 19, 2013
Hosted by: Romance Addict Book Blog

Synopsis

"Their relationship has been exposed, and now their lives are changed forever.

For Cadence Miller, the fast track to adulthood proves intimidating and frustrating. She’s a little girl lost—abandoned by her parents and uncertain of her future. She doesn’t think she “fits” anywhere. She’s eighteen. She wants to be older. And the result is both comical and heartbreaking.

Mark Connelly will do anything to provide Cadence a stable, loving home—to be her protector. But he’s just as broken and lost, and his heart won’t let go of his past so easily. He knows he must share his secret with Cadence. And he hopes his revelation won't tear them apart. He hopes it will draw them closer, and make their love better."

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About author

S. Walden used to teach English before making the best decision of her life by becoming a full-time writer. She lives in Georgia with her very supportive husband who prefers physics textbooks over fiction and has a difficult time understanding why her characters must have personality flaws. She is wary of small children, so she has a Westie instead. Her dreams include raising chickens and owning and operating a beachside inn on the Gulf Coast (chickens included). When she's not writing, she's thinking about it.

She loves her fans and loves to hear from them. Email her at swaldenauthor@hotmail.com and follow her blog at http://swaldenauthor.blogspot.com where you can get up-to-date information on her current projects.

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Better Teaser

She made sure to look as inconspicuous as possible for her first day of classes: jean shorts, tank top, flip flops. She kept her hair down but pulled it off her face with a headband. She wore a tad bit of makeup. Nothing showy, but she thought first day classes warranted mascara and lip gloss, at the least.

She slid into a seat in the row closest to the windows. She didn’t bother to look for Michael. Or save him a seat. She still wasn’t sure about that guy. She felt guilty for not telling Mark about Michael’s kissing comment. She wanted a friend, but she was unsure if he was a good one. She scanned the room for somebody better. She needed a girlfriend. And there was one sitting directly behind her.

“Hi,” Cadence said tentatively.

“Hi,” the girl replied.

Cadence wasn’t sure what else to say. Neither was the girl. That was until she recognized Cadence.

“You went to Crestview High.”

Cadence’s face fell. “Yeah.”

“My friend went there. She graduated with you.”

Cadence nodded.

The girl leaned in and whispered, “Did you really have an affair with your math teacher?”

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Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick

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Genre:

Contemporary/ Realistic Fiction

SUMMARY ON  GOODREADS:

There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.)

Jenna Lord’s first sixteen years were not exactly a fairytale. Her father is a controlling psycho and her mother is a drunk. She used to count on her older brother—until he shipped off to Afghanistan. And then, of course, there was the time she almost died in a fire. 

There are stories where the monster gets the girl, and we all shed tears for his innocent victim. (This is not one of those stories either.)

Mitch Anderson is many things: A dedicated teacher and coach. A caring husband. A man with a certain... magnetism. 

And there are stories where it’s hard to be sure who’s a prince and who’s a monster, who is a victim and who should live happily ever after. (These are the most interesting stories of all.)

Drowning Instinct is a novel of pain, deception, desperation, and love against the odds—and the rules.

RATING:

MY REVIEW:

This book just blew me away!

This book has stolen my attention right from its very first line.
It´s stunning, scary, unpredictable and beautiful. 
This book is a definite MUST HAVE!

An older man and a teenage girl. Bittersweet romance. Your first thought must be Lolita? High school teacher and troubled student. Sounds like a recipe for disaster or at least some jail time. But, although situations like this would ordinarily cause me to cringe because I´m a school teacher, I actually felt... hope for these two tragically broken people... This is a taboo romance story with student-teacher relationship in which there are no stereotypical predators or victims. These people are damaged, but are they monsters in this book? No, they just made some bad decisions and this sure is their complicated love story. Monsters are some other characters who ruined their lives in the start. 

The story is told in Jenna's voice as she "confesses" the truth of an incident into a policeman's tape recorder. Her family is dysfunctional (Psycho dad/cheater, alchocolic mother, grandfather- pedophile, a brother away at war...) and she finds escape in delusions and pain (selfharm). She is a cutter and she spend some time in Psycho ward. 

Then she moves to a new school and meets Mr. Anderson. He becomes the only one who sees her and brings her to the truth, but he is just as broken as she is...

" I´d never heard a man cry before, Bob, but...it´s awful. (...) I think some man aren´t used to it and don´t know what to do with all that feeling. Their emotions are hexane ignited in their chests and rips them apart, and then they feel like they´re going to die-just as something was dying, at that moment in Mitch." 

 Two of them pull strength from each other's tragedies... but, at the same time, they destroy each other and themselves. 

“They call it the drowning instinct. It´s when drowning doesn´t look like drowning. In real life, if the water´s very cold, a person can´t help but gasp. It´s reflex. The thing is as soon as water hits your lungs, your throat closes off, even it the water´s warm. Your body´s trying to protect itself, and the reality is that a lot more people suffocate than truly drown. Regardless, to people on land, especially when you´re really close to the end, you don´t look like you´re in trouble. You don´t scream, but that´s because you can ´t, and you don´t wave your arms either or expend a lot of energy flailing. You´re just there. So people don´t notice that you´re drowning.

That´s me. I think I´ve been drowning all this time and doing it so quietly, even I didn´t know it.” 

My favorite part is the ending:

"You probably want me to regret Mitch. You want me to see that he lied, was some kind of predator; that I´m the victim, like you said. But Mitch was broken, too, in his way and just as much a hostage to his past and his mistakes. Maybe by trying to fix me, he was also healing himself in the only way he knew how.

Oh, I can just hear you now. You and every therapist who ever lived will say that I´m rationalizing, that I´ve identified with a monster, just like those kids do who are kidnapped and live in a cage for twenty years. You´ll want to see me as damaged somehow, and then you´ll try to cure me. Well, I got news for you, Bobby-o.

Cured is just synonym for coming around to your way of thinking.

Cured is the word you use when I finally agree.

But here´s the problem with that, Bobby-o. You and the therapists can yammer until you´re blue in the face, but I just can´t agree with you and probably never will.

Because Mitch gave me love. He handed me back my life and that doesn´t make me a victim." 

Ilsa J. Bick has a way with words. This is possibly one of the most emotionally intense books I have ever read. This story has a bittersweet romance and a plot that leads you on an emotional roller coaster.

I recommend it to anyone who wants to read something that is neither black nor white, but just like the real life, very very grey.

Until next time,

stay naughty...