Buddy-Read Review: Cam Girl By Leah Raeder

Genre:
New Adult/ Contemporary Romance/ Suspense

Buy The Book:
AMAZON / S & S / B & N / BAM! / IB

Connect With The Author:
 Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads / Blog

 Synopsis On GR:

“Darkly erotic…a must read” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)

From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Unteachable and Black Iris comes a new, sexy romantic suspense novel about two best friends who are torn apart by a life-shattering accident…and the secrets left behind.
 
Vada Bergen is broke, the black sheep of her family, and moving a thousand miles away from home for grad school, but she’s got the two things she loves most: her art and her best friend—and sometimes more—Ellis Carraway. Ellis and Vada have a friendship so consuming it’s hard to tell where one girl ends and the other begins. It’s intense. It’s a little codependent. And nothing can tear them apart.

Until an accident on an icy winter road changes everything.

Vada is left deeply scarred, both emotionally and physically. Her once-promising art career is cut short. And Ellis pulls away, unwilling to talk about that night. Everything Vada loved is gone.

She’s got nothing left to lose.

So when she meets some smooth-talking entrepreneurs who offer to set her up as a cam girl, she can’t say no. All Vada has to do is spend a couple hours each night stripping on webcam, and the “tips” come pouring in.

It’s just a kinky escape from reality until a client gets serious. “Blue” is mysterious, alluring, and more interested in Vada’s life than her body. Online, they chat intimately. Blue helps her heal. And he pays well, but he wants her all to himself. No more cam shows. It’s an easy decision: she’s starting to fall for him. But the steamier it gets, the more she craves the real man behind the keyboard. So Vada pops the question:

Can we meet IRL?

Blue agrees, on one condition. A condition that will bring back a ghost from her past.

Now Vada must confront what she’s been running from. A past full of devastating secrets—those of others and those she’s been keeping from herself…

 PURPLE'S REVIEW

RATING: 5/5 STARS

"All art comes from pain."

Dark, raw, thought-provoking, erotic, poignant, inspiring... but above all beautifully written. It's such a complex, powerful and skilfully written story that makes me feeling inadequate to even write a review about it, that's why I'll keep it short. I thought it will be pretty impossible to dethrone Black Iris, but L. Raeder has yet again stolen a piece of my heart with Cam Girl and set the level much higher for my every next read. As always the synopsis does not do justice to her books and it's better to dive into it without any prior knowledge.

"My love is savage and rapacious. It isn't content to touch. It wants to be inside, crawl into the marrow, caress each vein until the cells are all mixed up and there is no you and me anymore, no secrets or shadows sliding between our skin. Only this endless devouring of each other."  

I won't say anything about the plot, because if you're familiar with this author's work you are aware that she is the master of mindfucks and this book is another one of those, meaning the less you know the better the reading expirience, so stay away from potential spoilerish reviews. All I can say that it's the type of a book which will make you question and give another, inside perspective about themes such as self-discovery, sexuality and genders in general. Knowing some background about the author I feel as if she has given us a sneak-a-peak of her soul. The book deserves 5 stars soley taking into consideration the superb writing style. It finds itself already on my top-reads-of-2016 shelf. That says it all. Highly recommended to every fan of dark, suspensful, steamy and thought-provoking mindfucks which will keep you second-guessing till the very end.

Her next book is due on May 31st 2016 and the only info we know it will be about one of the characters from Black Iris and Cam Girl. From the title itself I have my suspicion who will it be and can not freaking wait!

  

"If two people could make each other smile and laugh and forget all the pain and darkness in the world for a moment, why should we feel ashamed of it?"

BEATRIX' REVIEW

RATING: 4/ 5 STARS

What a strange world where we pay people to listen to our problems, and pay them to fuck themselves while we watch, and pay them to save us.

Once upon a time (okay, when I read Unteachable) I fell in love with Leah Raeder’s words. And ever since, I await her next novel with delightful anticipation. It’s like (s)he has this deep, profound relationship with words, and we, as readers, should feel lucky we get to read what comes out of her/his pen. (S)he is an artist, just like Vada, MC of this novel.

Cam Girl is another beautifully written novel, and one which raises a lot of important issues, main one being our preconceived notions about gender and sexuality. Masterfully portrayed, Cam Girl is a novel I will for sure recommend to many people!

You pretend everything’s fine. Even when you feel heavier every day, when the air smothers like a pall. When you feel something pulling you under but can’t escape, because it’s pulling from the inside.

Now, one may wonder, if I loved it so much why not give 5 stars? Well, the reason for that is that I loved Unteachable and Black Iris just a bit more. Plus, there were some parts that I found to be too slow. During the middle part there was also too much focus on Vada and Ellis’ relationship drama, which was also repetitive, same fight over and over.

On the other note, can I just say how happy I was that my favorite psycho made an appearance! (Zoeller, whom you may know from BI)

“I’ve always cared deeply about the Earth. I want it to be pretty for the day I assume control.”

Overall, despite some of my hang-ups, I think Cam Girl is a great novel, one that deserves praise and recognition. Firstly, the writing style will always be my favorite thing about Raeder’s novels, and secondly, the topics (s)he chooses.

Therefore, all I can say is – cannot wait for Bad Boy now!

* If you're interested in this author's work, check out:

~ my and Beatrix' buddy-read review of Black Iris 

~ Beatrix' review of Unteachable and Interview with Leah Raeder

REVIEW: Black Iris By Leah Raeder

Genre:

Thriller/ Contemporary / Romance

Buy The Book:

AMAZON / B & N / BOOK DEPOSITORY / KOBO

Connect With The Author:

Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads / Blog

Synopsis On Goodreads:

The next dark and sexy romantic suspense novel from the USA Todaybestselling author of Unteachable.

It only took one moment of weakness for Laney Keating’s world to fall apart. One stupid gesture for a hopeless crush. Then the rumors began. Slut, they called her. Queer. Psycho. Mentally ill, messed up, so messed up even her own mother decided she wasn't worth sticking around for.

If Laney could erase that whole year, she would. College is her chance to start with a clean slate.

She's not looking for new friends, but they find her: charming, handsome Armin, the only guy patient enough to work through her thorny defenses—and fiery, filterless Blythe, the bad girl and partner in crime who has thorns of her own.

But Laney knows nothing good ever lasts. When a ghost from her past resurfaces—the bully who broke her down completely—she decides it's time to live up to her own legend. And Armin and Blythe are going to help.

Which was the plan all along.

Because the rumors are true. Every single one. And Laney is going to show them just how true.

She's going to show them all.

Purple's RATING: 5/5 STARS

Beatrix' RATING: 5/5 STARS
Glass' RATING: 5/5 STARS

*** Buddy-read REVIEWS ***

~ Purple:

“I am not the heroine of this story. And I'm not trying to be cute. It's the truth. I'm diagnosed borderline and seriously fucked-up. I hold grudges. I bottle my hate until it ferments into poison, and then I get high off the fumes.”

I've read a fair share of good books this year, but this is only the 2nd one I've rated full 5 stars and it more than deserves it because for me it's on a totally another, I would even dare to say superior level from the the rest of them. My first book by this author was Unteachable. While I loved the author's writing style there, the story as a whole was more of a 3.5/4 stars read for me, but with this book Leah Raeder won me completely over. And what better way to read her newest book than buddy-reading it with my friend & co-blogger Beatrix, who was also the one who first introduced me to this author.

"I never wanted to be saved. I wanted someone to follow me down into the darkness. To hold my hand as I fell."

Without spoiling anything all I can say is that Black Iris is one dark, gripping, twisted, riveting, poignant, thought-provoking page-turner which will leave you speechless after every new unpredictable twist of the story. What's special and compelling about this book is the fact that the main character Laney is nor the heroine nor the true villain. The lines between good and evil get blurred and disputable, at times over-weighing on one and at other times on the other side, therefore messing with our heads all over again and of course I loved it, the weirdo that I am.

This book was so good that not the even infamous "love triangle", which is usually a deal-breaker for me when choosing my next read, bothered me. That says it all. I won't say anything more about the plot, because when it comes to mindfucks like this the best way is to experience it without any prior knowledge. The writing was supreme. One of the most highlighted books in my collection.

Highly recommended to every fan of dark thrillers/mindfucks!

“Strength is not in the body, it’s in the mind. It doesn’t lie in flexing your muscles and crushing those who oppose you. It lies in being the last one standing. By any means. At any cost.”

~Beatrix:

“Darkness isn’t bad. It’s only darkness.” Those fingers relaxed. “All it means is you don’t see the world as they do. You see what’s really there. They see what they wish was there.”

Revenge. Suspense. Ecstasy. Sex. 

BLACK IRIS was my most anticipated book of 2015, and it did not disappoint. That’s saying a lot since I’m a huge fan of Leah Raeder and I’ve been craving this book basically since I’ve read Unteachable back in 2013 when it was first published. In my opinion Raeder is a true artist when it comes to the art of words. I feel as if she sees the world with different eyes and then transforms that onto the page and gives us her more poetic, vivid, and colorful version of reality. Here’s a paragraph to illustrate what I’m saying: 

I smelled the storm on him. There’s a word for that scent, the breathy fragrance that’s released when rain soaks soil and floods your sinuses like a drug: petrichor. Petros, stone. Ichor, the blood of gods. There was a disturbing loveliness in that image, gods opening their wrists to slake the earth with their quicksilver blood.

This is the kind of novel which will definitely make you question everything. Not only will you constantly be on the edge of your seat with questions such as: what is happening; but this book will also make you question your beliefs and morals. Characters in this book are constantly doing some morally ambiguous acts and let’s just say this is not for those of tender heart. If you’re bothered with excessive drinking and drug abuse, F/F sex, revenge, cheating, love triangles, unlikeable protagonists – then this book might not be for you. 

Don’t expect a typical NA story, or a morally encouraging book. However, what you can and should expect is an incredibly well written and important book, with its message about labeling, sexual fluidity, bullying, and mental illness. 

Something ineffably sad rose in my chest, a drowning feeling, as if my lungs were filling with water from the inside. My hand raised but not touching. My voice unheard. I’d spent all my life in moments like this.

Nothing here was black and white. These characters are so complex and my attitude towards them was ambivalent. I didn’t like Laney, but I understood her. Furthermore, she is not meant to be a role model, nor is she trying to be one. BI is unapologetic and that’s why I like it. Characters are entirely messed up and they’re not trying to hide it. Laney is not attempting to set an example with her behavior. She does what she wants and if you don’t like it, then she’s probably tell you: “Screw you, I’m not trying to impress anyone.”

I’m saying this because I’ve noticed how some negative reviews state that Laney sets a bad example for young girls with her drinking, sleeping around, and basically being high the entire duration of the novel. If you’re so sensitive, then don’t read this. And you’ve probably missed the point as it’s stated right on the first page what kind of novel this would be. This is not the story with a typical HEA; don’t expect a heroine to overcome her issues. This is a dark and twisted story and that’s why it’s so unique.

Furthermore, a few words on the writing style and a quick comparison with Unteachable. Obviously both books are written in the same lyrical, purple tone and if I’m being completely honest I have to admit that maybe, just maybe this style was more suitable for UN and the reason for that is the genre. 

UN is first and foremost a romance novel – it explored emotions, maturing, growing up, love, etc. However, BI proclaims itself to be a suspense novel and I believe it’s difficult to build up tension with adjectives. You need lots of dynamic verbs, descriptions of processes, not states. That taken together with switching timelines, I can see how some readers were lost or found the book to be too slow. I personally was not bothered by that, and I’ve raved enough how I love Raeder’s writing style, but I can understand some of the frustration I’ve noticed in several reviews.

Some of the things I've loved: the sex scenes. Hot damn. This is how you write steamy. Nothing overly vulgar, but so poetic and sizzling hot. Moreover, let’s not forget the poetry. T. S. Eliot, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson are some of my favorite poets and it made me so giddy to recognize all the references. I truly think BI wouldn’t have been the same without it. 

In conclusion, BLACK IRIS is at its core a powerful story which explores the darkness within a person, triggered by someone else’s darkness. It portrays how one act of violence may initiate entire chain of such deeds and how a person may end up trapped in that vicious circle. Have you ever been bullied, misunderstood, and rejected for who you are? Sometimes it’s difficult for a person to see the light, sometimes a person is so weakened, tormented by their own demons that it’s easier to drown than to swim back to the surface. 

Leah Raeder wrote a book for anyone who has ever felt that way. She is the voice of the downtrodden, of the underdog. It’s okay to feel malice and rage, those too are human emotions. Therefore, what I’m saying is – don’t expect a redemption story. But, if you do prefer dark, challenging, and gritty stories, then BLACK IRIS might be just the right book for you! 

I’m the black iris watered by poison. The wolf that raised its head among sheep and devoured its way, ruthless and bloody, to freedom. I never forgave, never forgot.

PS: I’ve found the song which perfectly fits the book, with its lyrics and overall atmosphere -- Sick by Chelsea Wolfe: 

This suffering brings me closer to you

And time is broken and moves slow

Your pure heart, your white light

I should be put to death for ever being cruel to you

…

Come closer now and step right into

The wide mouth, the sharp teeth of the one you love

I’m not the kind of sick that you can fix

Don't you worry about me baby 

xoxo, 

Purple & Beatrix