Freeing by E.K. Blair (Fading, #1.5)

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Genre:

New Adult / MM Romance

Summary on Goodreads:

Knowing who you are and accepting who you are come at different prices. 

Jase Kinrick grew up in your typical, all-American household. But after the death of his sister, his parents shut down, forcing him to deal with everything life throws his way alone. Terrified of the person he’s discovering himself to be, Jase has his way with every willing girl to try and rid himself of what he fears he is—gay. 

Escaping California and moving to Seattle to attend the University of Washington, Jase frees himself to the reality that he likes men. Never staying with any guy long enough to get to know them, he doesn’t realize that he’s still hiding from who he is until he meets Mark. Scared of having real feelings for another guy stirs up the questions and fears he’s fought hard to bury. 

To strip away the barriers to the heart of what is real, and to be okay with what lies underneath, will be Jase’s moment of truth. But he’ll need Mark to lead him there.

**This is a companion novel to the USA Today Bestseller, FADING.**

RATING:

***REVIEW***

For years I’ve been trying to free myself of these fears, free myself from my tormenting thoughts, free myself from the walls that have kept me trapped in a hole of self-loathing. 

Everyone of us wants to be accepted and loved just the way we are, especially by the people closest to us, but what when who we are is considered wrong and shameful by society?

Aside from being a beautiful  & touching love story, this book also deals with issues like homosexuality and rape. Just like many times before, I was captivated by the beautiful cover and even more when I read the blurb and realized it's a MM book, so of course I had to put everything on hold and read it and I don't regret a bit. This is a prequel story to Fading (Fading, #1), but it can be read first, just like I did.

He made me realize just how scared of these feelings I actually am. I don't want a relationship with him because I'm afraid that will make it too real for me. Define me. Gay. Fag. Queer. Fuck. Am I ready for that?

Jase Kinrick's life finally started  when he moved out of his hometown to collage where he was far away from his broken home and estranged parents, where he could finally be free and his true self, but can he really? What when your  whole life you learn that smth is wrong and that you are unwanted and freak for doing it? What when people who don't even know you judge you, when even the people closest to you, who should love you and protect you no matter what, judge you and show you how much their love is conditional? Can you love and respect yourself, even if everyone else doesn't?
This book made me think a lot. It made me think about what I would do if my future kid came to me one day and said : "Mom, I'm gay." The thing I know for sure is that I would never do to him/her what Jase's parents did to him. I would love him and protect him no matter what, because it's my kid and I would want him to have a happy & loved life- how could you do that to your own blood is beyond me? It made me sad, because I know that a lot of people out there wouldn't do the same. 

There would always be some insecure and frustrated bully out there who would try to hurt him and make him less worth and what's worse is the knowing that you won't be always there to protect him and that's why I would want him, just like Jase did, to have someone like Mark to do that when I'm not around. He is such a sweet, understanding and charming character, and even though it  sometimes frustrated me how much understanding he had for Jase's constant insecurities,  you simply can't not like him. And the way they helped their friend Candance heal (the main character from the next book Fading (Fading, #1)) and cope with the horrible situation she went through was so brave and made me like them even more. Who wouldn't want to have friends like that?

This book was a very emotional read and I loved it even more than the first book in the series. My only complain is that it wasn't long enough. Highly recommend it to every MM fan!

I hold him close, and don’t even question the love I feel for him. I can’t. It’s heavy and palpable. It’s everything I have been missing and makes up for all the time I had been avoiding what was in me. What I was. What I am.

XOXO