REVIEW: Bad Boy By Elliot Wake

Genre:

New Adult/ Contemporary Romance/ Psychological Thriller

Buy The Book:

AMAZON / B & N / KOBO / BD

Connect With The Author:

Blog / Twitter / GR

Summary On Goodreads:

Vlog star Renard Grant has nothing to prove: he’s got a pretty face, chiseled body, and two million adoring video subscribers. Plus the scars on his chest and a prescription for testosterone. Because Ren is transgender: assigned female at birth, living now as male. He films his transition and shares it bravely with the world; his fans love his honesty and positivity.

But Ren has been living a double life.

Off-camera, he’s Cane, the muscle-bound enforcer for social justice vigilante group Black Iris. As Cane, he lets his dark side loose. Hurts those who prey on the disempowered. Indulges in the ugly side of masculinity. And his new partner, Tamsin Baylor, is a girl as rough and relentless as him. Together, they terrorize the trolls into silence.

But when a routine Black Iris job goes south, Ren is put in the crosshairs. Someone is out to ruin his life. He’s a bad boy, they say, guilty of what he punishes others for.

Just like every other guy: at heart, he’s a monster, too.

Now Ren’s got everything to prove. He has to clear his name, and show the world he’s a good man. But that requires facing demons he’s locked away for years. And it might mean discovering he’s not such a good guy after all.

REVIEW

"An eye for an eye. I’d blind the whole world if I had to." 

Just as it was the case with Black Iris and Cam Girl, the last page of Bad Boy by Elliot Wake left me feeling emotionally drained and in urgent need of hugs, but as every emotional junkie/ masochist reader I'm addicted to this type of books. Books that make you feel and leave some profound impression on you.

First of all - before reading Bad Boy, I highly recommend reading Black Iris #1 and Cam Girl #2, because the stories and the characters are intertwined. Otherwise you'll feel out of the loop if you jump right on this one. Bad Boy is a story about Ren, one of the members of the vigilante group called Black Iris which is dedicted on getting revenge on those who have wronged women. But this is not your typical revenge story. The story is more complex and thoughtprovoking than that, where revenge only makes a small part of it. First and foremost, for me, it's a quite powerful and poignant story about everyday life and struggles of a transgender with the addition of gender and rape culture.

Without spoiling anything all I can say is that you should read Elliot Wake's books if not solely because of the writing which is outstanding. Whereas I adored Black Iris and Cam Girl and can't recommend them enough, when it comes to Bad Boy I'll have to agree with readers who said that the concept of the story was good, I liked it, but I wasn't exactly satisfied with the way the author concluded some situations. With this I refer especially to the ending which was in my opinion rushed and to some point anticlimatic. To sum it up- there were some parts I loved and then some not so much. That's why this time it's 3.5 stars.

Recommended to the fans of thoughtprovoking mindfucks!

“We’re all trapped by something. Freedom is an illusion. It’s the wind in your hair as you plummet off the cliff’s edge." 

RATING: 3.5 / 5 stars

xoxo,

Purple

#REVIEW: Behind the Hands That Kill (In the Company of Killers #6) by J.A. Redmerski

Genre: 
Romantic Suspense/ Thriller

Buy The Book: AMAZON / B & N  / BD

Connect With The Author:
Goodreads / Blog / Twitter / Facebook

Reading Order:

#1 - KILLING SARAI
#2 - REVIVING IZABEL
#3 - THE SWAN & THE JACKAL
#4 - SEEDS OF INIQUITY
#5 - THE BLACK WOLF
#6 - BEHIND THE HANDS THAT KILL
#7 - SPIDERS IN THE GROVE

Synopsis:

Even professional killers need vacations, but for Victor Faust, his vacation in Venezuela is about more than relaxation and time alone with Izabel Seyfried. It is a chance for him to come clean to Izabel: to tell her the truth about why he sent her to Italy with his brother, the truth behind his interest in Nora Kessler, and about his knowledge of Izabel’s child with her former captor. But before Victor can spill his soul, reality proves that for some killers, vacations are just pipe-dreams.

Attacked and kidnapped, Izabel finds herself stuffed in a suitcase, while Victor later wakes up imprisoned in a cage. In any other situation, Victor would find a way out and save himself and the woman he loves—but not this time. When the identities of their kidnappers are revealed, Victor loses all hope, and begins the mental process of accepting his and Izabel’s last moments together. And Izabel’s final moments of life.

As if his circumstances are not complicated enough, members of Vonnegut’s Order are finally closing in on Victor. And when they do, he comes face-to-face with someone else he once knew and loved, who could either help him, or make a grave situation much worse. Victor’s past has finally caught up with him: the women he has cared for, loved, and killed; the families he has destroyed; the unforgivable crimes he has committed. And now he must face the consequences, and pay the ultimate price for absolution.

But when it is all over, Victor may not have the strength to pick up what is left and move on. Because the event changes him. Because love changed him. And because, unlike before when he thought it is was for the best, he cannot imagine a life without Izabel in it.

REVIEW 

"I am a monster in the shadows; the blood of many stains my gnarled hands;
the souls of the innocent are forever caught in my blade-like teeth. So how can this be, that even an ounce of light be given to a monster such as me?"

My biggest fear after I've finished the magnificent previous installment of ItCoK series - The Black Wolf was that the author will turn this one into some kind of melodramatic & soapish love triangle and anyone who's met me knows how much I love love triangles. Or better say despise them. I just can't stand the never ending drama and cheesiness they bring into the stories and I've even given up on some of my beloved series because of this. But this is Redmerski we're talking about, whose last two installments have literally blown my mind, I still can't decide which book do I adore more The Black Wolf #5 or Seeds Of Iniquity #4, so, as they say- the resistance was futile. I just had to know!

And now I finally know... There is no *beep* love triangle, people!!! (Btw. kudos to you, Redmerski  for that.) And yes, I liked this installment for the most part, but there is... ...unfortunatelly a lot of melodrama of different kind which brings me to the biggest problem of this book when it comes to my reading expirience: Just how much mind-fuck is too much mind-fuck??? I know, you never expected me to say this since I always said that dark, edgy, thrilling and provocative mind-fucks are my favorite type of reads and they still are, but here it is. I've said it and I even mean it, lol.

Just how much more can you complicate the story and keep hitting us with this new, shocking twists and at the same time maintain the excitement and the most important the credibility of the story? Well, in my opinion, Redmerski had its up and down moments in this installment, maybe even more of the later ones. But that's just me. As far as I've seen most of the fans think otherwise and I repect that. 

What I loved the most when it comes to this installment is the introduction of the new characters and their background stories. Victor and Izabel annoyed me tremendously. I think it's time for them to step back and give spotlight to other more interesting, bad-ass characters. Or if not- cut out with the melodramatic crap and bring back the old confident and deadly Viktor & Izabel we love and know. That's why my rating for this book is: 3/5 stars.

xoxo,

Purple

YA Thrillers Month: Delicate Monsters by Stephanie Kuehn

Buy links:

Amazon / Barnes & Noble

Author links:

Website / Twitter

Add on Goodreads

SUMMARY

From the Morris-Award winning author of Charm & Strange, comes a twisted and haunting tale about three teens uncovering dark secrets and even darker truths about themselves.

When nearly killing a classmate gets seventeen-year-old Sadie Su kicked out of her third boarding school in four years, she returns to her family’s California vineyard estate. Here, she’s meant to stay out of trouble. Here, she’s meant to do a lot of things. But it’s hard. She’s bored. And when Sadie’s bored, the only thing she likes is trouble.

Emerson Tate’s a poor boy living in a rich town, with his widowed mother and strange, haunted little brother. All he wants his senior year is to play basketball and make something happen with the girl of his dreams. That’s why Emerson’s not happy Sadie’s back. An old childhood friend, she knows his worst secrets. The things he longs to forget. The things she won’t ever let him.

Haunted is a good word for fifteen-year-old Miles Tate. Miles can see the future, after all. And he knows his vision of tragic violence at his school will come true, because his visions always do. That’s what he tells the new girl in town. The one who listens to him. The one who recognizes the darkness in his past. 

But can Miles stop the violence? Or has the future already been written? Maybe tragedy is his destiny. Maybe it’s all of theirs.

My rating:

REVIEW

The things that we love tell us what we are. – St. Thomas Aquinas

This book is weird as fuck. There’s no other way of putting it. Psychological thriller at its finest. Honestly, I’m not even sure what is this that I’d read, how to categorize it. It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure. Is it for teens? Honestly, I don’t know. Just because characters are teens, does not make a book YA. Yes, sure things are not that graphically described, but sometimes that vagueness makes it even more eerie. 

But there are some people who find comfort in discomfort. In knocking people out of their hamster wheels and setting them free onto the four-lane highway of reality. Look at Sartre. Look at Kierkegaard. Remember what he said? ‘The crowd is untruth.’ Kierkegaard knew. And people like that, like us, we’re the ones the hamsters should fear. Because other people’s fear, it kind of gets us off. 

The title says Delicate Monsters, but trust me, there’s nothing delicate about this book. Characters are the exact opposite of delicate. They’re flawed, disturbed, and utterly fascinating. We have Sadie, who was expelled from boarding school because she tried to kill her classmate. You can see right away, we’re working with crazy here. Then there’s Emerson, who seems pretty normal at first, but boy is he gonna prove you wrong. And finally, we have Miles, Emerson’s younger brother, who always seems to be getting sick. Makes you wonder, what’s wrong with him?! Well, by the end you find out, and it ain’t pretty. 

There was only so much ruin the mind could rationalize. There was only so much badness that could be suppressed for so long. His guilt, on its own, was utterly meaningless - just a showy type of magic that changed nothing because changing nothing was the endgame all along. 

The novel is incredibly well-written; it’s really short, but the story moves slowly, and everything sort of creeps up on you. When I started reading, things seemed normal, and I thought well, this is okay, nothing that disturbing thus far. But, really soon, characters begin to show their true colors. And whether or not you enjoy their ‘colors’ remains the biggest question. 

Sometimes to end things, you had to go back to the beginning. 

xoxo,

Beatrix

Buddy-Read Review: Cam Girl By Leah Raeder

Genre:
New Adult/ Contemporary Romance/ Suspense

Buy The Book:
AMAZON / S & S / B & N / BAM! / IB

Connect With The Author:
 Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads / Blog

 Synopsis On GR:

“Darkly erotic…a must read” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)

From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Unteachable and Black Iris comes a new, sexy romantic suspense novel about two best friends who are torn apart by a life-shattering accident…and the secrets left behind.
 
Vada Bergen is broke, the black sheep of her family, and moving a thousand miles away from home for grad school, but she’s got the two things she loves most: her art and her best friend—and sometimes more—Ellis Carraway. Ellis and Vada have a friendship so consuming it’s hard to tell where one girl ends and the other begins. It’s intense. It’s a little codependent. And nothing can tear them apart.

Until an accident on an icy winter road changes everything.

Vada is left deeply scarred, both emotionally and physically. Her once-promising art career is cut short. And Ellis pulls away, unwilling to talk about that night. Everything Vada loved is gone.

She’s got nothing left to lose.

So when she meets some smooth-talking entrepreneurs who offer to set her up as a cam girl, she can’t say no. All Vada has to do is spend a couple hours each night stripping on webcam, and the “tips” come pouring in.

It’s just a kinky escape from reality until a client gets serious. “Blue” is mysterious, alluring, and more interested in Vada’s life than her body. Online, they chat intimately. Blue helps her heal. And he pays well, but he wants her all to himself. No more cam shows. It’s an easy decision: she’s starting to fall for him. But the steamier it gets, the more she craves the real man behind the keyboard. So Vada pops the question:

Can we meet IRL?

Blue agrees, on one condition. A condition that will bring back a ghost from her past.

Now Vada must confront what she’s been running from. A past full of devastating secrets—those of others and those she’s been keeping from herself…

 PURPLE'S REVIEW

RATING: 5/5 STARS

"All art comes from pain."

Dark, raw, thought-provoking, erotic, poignant, inspiring... but above all beautifully written. It's such a complex, powerful and skilfully written story that makes me feeling inadequate to even write a review about it, that's why I'll keep it short. I thought it will be pretty impossible to dethrone Black Iris, but L. Raeder has yet again stolen a piece of my heart with Cam Girl and set the level much higher for my every next read. As always the synopsis does not do justice to her books and it's better to dive into it without any prior knowledge.

"My love is savage and rapacious. It isn't content to touch. It wants to be inside, crawl into the marrow, caress each vein until the cells are all mixed up and there is no you and me anymore, no secrets or shadows sliding between our skin. Only this endless devouring of each other."  

I won't say anything about the plot, because if you're familiar with this author's work you are aware that she is the master of mindfucks and this book is another one of those, meaning the less you know the better the reading expirience, so stay away from potential spoilerish reviews. All I can say that it's the type of a book which will make you question and give another, inside perspective about themes such as self-discovery, sexuality and genders in general. Knowing some background about the author I feel as if she has given us a sneak-a-peak of her soul. The book deserves 5 stars soley taking into consideration the superb writing style. It finds itself already on my top-reads-of-2016 shelf. That says it all. Highly recommended to every fan of dark, suspensful, steamy and thought-provoking mindfucks which will keep you second-guessing till the very end.

Her next book is due on May 31st 2016 and the only info we know it will be about one of the characters from Black Iris and Cam Girl. From the title itself I have my suspicion who will it be and can not freaking wait!

  

"If two people could make each other smile and laugh and forget all the pain and darkness in the world for a moment, why should we feel ashamed of it?"

BEATRIX' REVIEW

RATING: 4/ 5 STARS

What a strange world where we pay people to listen to our problems, and pay them to fuck themselves while we watch, and pay them to save us.

Once upon a time (okay, when I read Unteachable) I fell in love with Leah Raeder’s words. And ever since, I await her next novel with delightful anticipation. It’s like (s)he has this deep, profound relationship with words, and we, as readers, should feel lucky we get to read what comes out of her/his pen. (S)he is an artist, just like Vada, MC of this novel.

Cam Girl is another beautifully written novel, and one which raises a lot of important issues, main one being our preconceived notions about gender and sexuality. Masterfully portrayed, Cam Girl is a novel I will for sure recommend to many people!

You pretend everything’s fine. Even when you feel heavier every day, when the air smothers like a pall. When you feel something pulling you under but can’t escape, because it’s pulling from the inside.

Now, one may wonder, if I loved it so much why not give 5 stars? Well, the reason for that is that I loved Unteachable and Black Iris just a bit more. Plus, there were some parts that I found to be too slow. During the middle part there was also too much focus on Vada and Ellis’ relationship drama, which was also repetitive, same fight over and over.

On the other note, can I just say how happy I was that my favorite psycho made an appearance! (Zoeller, whom you may know from BI)

“I’ve always cared deeply about the Earth. I want it to be pretty for the day I assume control.”

Overall, despite some of my hang-ups, I think Cam Girl is a great novel, one that deserves praise and recognition. Firstly, the writing style will always be my favorite thing about Raeder’s novels, and secondly, the topics (s)he chooses.

Therefore, all I can say is – cannot wait for Bad Boy now!

* If you're interested in this author's work, check out:

~ my and Beatrix' buddy-read review of Black Iris 

~ Beatrix' review of Unteachable and Interview with Leah Raeder

Buddy-read REVIEWs: THE BLACK WOLF (In the Company of Killers, #5) By J. A. Redmerski

Genre:

Thriller/ Romantic Suspense

Buy The Book:

AMAZON 

Connect With The Author:

Website / Twitter / Goodreads

Synopsis On Goodreads:

Since devastating secrets were uncovered by Nora Kessler, Niklas Fleischer and Victor Faust have been divided as business partners and brothers. But ultimately Niklas is persuaded to lead a mission to Italy, and he sees it as an opportunity to set in motion forgiveness—or retribution—for his brother’s betrayal. 

The mission: play the role of a wealthy German investor and kidnap a beautiful, notorious madam named Francesca Moretti. No stranger to these types of roles, Niklas is the best man for the job, but this time the risks will be much greater as he will not be doing it alone. Izabel Seyfried, still fresh out of a life of imprisonment and sex slavery, could be negatively affected by the things she will see in Moretti’s mansion, and Niklas must keep her in line so she does not blow their cover and get them killed.

But Niklas isn’t the only one who must play a role—Nora takes on the humiliating task of playing Niklas’s slave, and Izabel must play the role of his lover.

On one hand, Niklas couldn’t be enjoying himself more. On the other hand, the emotions that continue to rage inside of him may be too much for him to control, and it may be Niklas—not Izabel—who needs to be kept in line. He cannot forget what Victor has done, and this mission may just be the beginning of his downward spiral.

Can the blood bond that Niklas and Victor share as brothers be stronger than resentment? Or will vengeance dig the blade so deep that their bond be eternally severed?

PURPLE'S RATING: 5/5 STARS

BEATRIX' RATING: 5/5 STARS 

*** REVIEW ***

Purple:

After the brilliant previous installment- Seeds of Iniquity (ItCoK, #4) I was positive that there was no way I could love this book as much as I did that one, BUT I was wrong. Niklas was not among my favorite characters. As the matter of fact I was quite annoyed with him until the previous two books because of the *thing* he did in the 1st one and his rather superior/macho attitude, but now we all know the cold front he puts up is only an act and that he can be quite charming when he wants it and add to that very, very sexy. Together with Fredrik and Nora he is now without a doubt one of my fav characters in the series.

"Niklas wanted freedom; he has always wanted to be his own person, play by his own rules, live by his own standards, and not in the shoes or the shadows or beneath the gavel or the whip of anyone else."

The story was dark, gripping, action-packed, suspenseful and twisted with some unexpected and jaw-dropping twists as always. J. R. Redmerski keeps mindfucking us messing with our heads and in the best possible way. Our dearest rogue agents are at it again- on another undercover case in Italy trying to solve one of their most dangerous cases so far.  The undercover trio was so bad-ass and the villian and her devious plans so fucked-up. I won't say anything else about the plot, except that it was spectacular.

And the ending? Oh. My...I'm still trying to process what had happened. I don't know what to think, what to feel and I definitely don't know what to expect from the next installment. I have billions theories of the possible outcomes, some of which I fear greatly and truely hope the author doesn't take the story in that direction. J. A. Redmerski, I trust your judgement, just DO NOT turn this into one of those melodramatic love triangles, I beg you!

All in all- I'm in love with this series! This is my 2nd favorite installment and my third 5 stars rating so far this year and damn well-deserved. I'll be crossing days until the next one.

“To be human means to always go with your heart. The moment you betray your heart is the moment you lose everything.”

Highly recommended to every fan of dark, romantic and suspenseful thrillers  and fans of TV shows  like Nikita. This series is a must-read!


Beatrix:

I can honestly say that with each new book In The Company of Killers series gets better and better. This series is dark, suspenseful, characters and relationships between them are so complex.

I wanted a book about Niklas since forever (okay, since book #1 – I was always curious about him and I thought there’s more to him than what he showed to the world). And now we finally got it and it was everything I wanted and more. If you’re already a fan of this series, and you approved of the direction things took in Seeds of Iniquity, you’re gonna love this! 

Anyhow, this time around, the main story revolves around Niklas, Izabel and Nora, on a mission in Italy. I don’t want to spoil anything about that, I’ll just say it was exciting, gripping, bloody and just overall, amazing. After five books, I don’t doubt J. A. Redmerski; wherever she decided to go with the plot, I’m on board. This has become one of my favorite series, precisely because it’s unpredictable and unconventional.

This particular installment picks up where things left off in the last book – Niklas is hurt over Viktor’s betrayal and nowhere to be found; and Nora is the new addition to their Order. Since her introduction in the last book, I loved Nora. She’s so badass and great, and I only wish she had a bigger role in this book. (There’s a lot we don’t know about her yet, but I’m hoping it’ll be remedied in the next book.)

Furthermore, these characters are what do it for me in this series. Now, in the book #5 we feel like we know them (I’ve personally grown so attached to them), but in fact every one of them is hiding something and we’re on our toes to know everything about them. 

Finally, the reason why this book was so bloody awesome is that ending! Whoa! What happens next is the big question. I was buddy-reading this with my dear Purple and we have SO many theories. Also, while she’s very against a love triangle, I can honestly say I wouldn’t mind it. But, I guess we shall see. 

***

My favorite Killer in this part: Niklas, obviously.

My least favorite Killer in this part: I love them all.

I particularly liked: Niklas – Izabel dynamics.

I didn’t like the fact that there was so little of Nora. With Fredrik and Niklas, she’s my favorite character and I wish she had a bigger role.

I hope that the next book features more Fredrik. (I miss him!!)

Book #6 I want more than any other book right now! I’m both anxious and eager. Hurry up please, JA we’re dying here!

xoxo,

Purple & Beatrix

ARC REVIEW: Ruin & Rule by Pepper Winters

Buy the book:

Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo / iBooks

Author's:

Website / Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads

Genre: Erotic MC Romance

Expected publication date: July 7th 2015

Book summary:

"She is a woman divided. Her past, present, and future are as twisted as the lies she's lived for the past eight years. Desperate to get the truth, she must turn to the one man who may also be her greatest enemy . . .

He is the president of Pure Corruption MC. A heartless biker and retribution-deliverer. He accepts no rules, obeys no one, and lives only to reap revenge on those who wronged him. And now he has stolen her, body and soul.

Can a woman plagued by mystery fall in love with the man who refuses to face the truth? And can a man drenched in darkness forgo his quest for vengeance-and finally find redemption?"

MY RATING: 2.5/3 stars

Possible spoilers!

    SHORT?  I gave it a chance. Kept an open mind. It had potential, but in the end, it still disappointed me. Will I read sequel? Probably, because I want to find out what will happen next.

      First of all, I have to warn you that I have complicated relationship with Pepper Winters novels. There is something about her stories that get my attention, and I cannot resist to the temptation to read them. Not to mention all those pretty covers - Ruin & Rule might have the prettiest so far. My issues start somewhere around third chapter when I get annoyed by characters or story arc or writing. Ruin & Rule lasted longer than that. 

      What I liked? Until the chapter fifteen I truly believed that I would love it. Such an intriguing start! Reader finds out things gradually along with main female character, so there are no clear answers. You are confused, trying to figure out who is who, to make difference between enemies and those who could help out. Along with the MC you are figuring out rules of this crazy new world. And then there is Arthur "Kill" Killian. The president of Pure Corruption MC. Anti-hero. (With kick-ass tattoo! That's something I'd like very much to see!). Even writing was captivating. Yes, it gets melodramatic sometimes, but that first half of the story was so good.

      When did things start to go downhill? At chapter fifteen. The loooongest chapter. Where nothing actually happened. And everything was dragged. And all problems are solved with sex. Hot sex. Until they start to talk.

      What I didn't like?

• Flashbacks. I was seriously disturbed with those because how overly sexual and mature characters are considering that they are just kids (she is barely fourteen - but there are parts where she's eight). 
• Memory loss. Great idea, but at times felt a bit forced. 
• Convenient "situations".  Some things got resolved too easily, just when needed. Like she remembering bits about her past. Very specific bits, all of a sudden. 
• Biker gang. What biker gang? Unlike any other book of the genre, do not expect "club business" storyline. There isn't much, everything is about our main female character and Kill. Even when there is mention of what they do, it's just superficial. That is why I had a feeling like the world-building was lacking, there's no actual background story to the described events, and answers we do get in the end, aren't shown, but told. Just dropped in one chapter told from Kill's POV. After the lot of  I-can't-tell-yous. Which brings us to the next thing that bothered me.
• Melodramatic dragging of the story. It was fun to be in the dark at the beginning, but when you read for the hundredth time: "I will tell you everything, but not now. You have to trust me." and then they have sex, or read about her temper tantrums, you just get bored and start skimming. Second half seriously tested my patience. 
• Kill in the second half of the book. From the badass he became pussy-whipped idiot. Over the night. Just no. 

       Who will like Ruin & Rule? Most definitely everyone who liked Pepper Winters previous novels, especially Monsters in the Dark trilogy. Fans of dark, erotic stories.


Happy reading,

*Copy of the book provided by publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*

Pre-Release ARC Review: Craving's Creek By Mel Bossa

Expected Publication: August 18th 2015 by Samhain Publishing, Ltd.

Genre: MM Contemporary Romance

Buy The Book:
AMAZON / SAMHAIN PUBLISHING /ALL Romance

Connect With The Author:

Goodreads / Website

Synopsis On Goodreads:

For the man he loves, he will fight—body, mind, and soul.

Fourteen years ago, on a sun-drenched summer day on the banks of Craving’s Creek, Ryde swore to his best friend, Alistair, he’d never be alone in the world. Though Alistair was destined for the priesthood, there was something beyond holy about the first kiss they shared.

But a fun camping trip went horribly wrong when Alistair was involved in a horrific incident.

Now, at age thirty-one, Ryde’s life is a mess of alcohol and the painful imprint of his last look into Alistair’s desperate eyes. Since the evil they encountered on that shore, his first love has been lost to him—until he learns a friend’s wedding is to be officiated by a priest named Father Alistair Genet.

Amid the rush of emotions, one thought crystallizes: Ryde’s love for Alistair not only has never died, it’s stronger than ever. Stronger than God. But it may be no match for the church…and the repressed memories that are slowly tearing Alistair’s mind apart.

Warning: Contains a drunken confessional, a self-destructive clergyman, and a fight to the spiritual death for love.

RATING: 4/5 stars

*** REVIEW ***

This book was NOTHING I expected it to be and I loved it. You can read the synopsis over and over again and believe me you still won't get the right idea about its content. 

The story is a combination of a contemporary romance, psychological drama and at times it even has elements of a thriller. At the beginning we are introduced to its main characters- 17 year old best friends and neighbors Ryde and Alistar who are also secretly in love with each other. At first glance their life seems pretty ordinary with the usual teenage problems, but the more the pages turn the more we see that that's far from truth. The real truth is more ugly and scarier than that.

There is something wrong in Alistar's house and it has to do with his extremely religious and over-protective parents who aren't letting him have a normal teenage life, but instead keep him isolated from the other kids and keep pushing him to become a priest. Add to that his strange migraines and hallucinations he's been having since his 13th birthday and you have a recipe for a disaster. Ryde is the only thing in his life that keeps him sane, the only one who can save him from the impending darkness.

"Alistar looks at me. There's something in his eyes now. I've seen it before: something huge and ravenous, like a black beast waiting to be unleashed."

Dark, gripping, heartbreaking, thought-provoking and deeply emotional.

To be together the boys will have to fight their parents, the society, the church, time apart, but the biggest battle will be the one against their worse fears and nightmares. Will they be on the winning side? Buy the book and find out.

The author is one of those "sadists" who like to mess with our heads- giving us just enough information to keep us second-guessing everything and leaving some answers to our imagination which might bother some readers, together with religion/faith also being an important element of the story and a HFN ending. There were some loopholes and things which, had they been done a bit differently, could have made this a perfect read, but I fell in love with the characters and enjoyed it nonetheless.

This is not your ordinary mm romance and therefore I don't think it's for everyone. I would recommend it to mm fans of dark reads who want a well-written, unique and thought-provoking story.

"His words are a clean blade stabbing quickly and neatly through my heart. I barely feel the injury, but the cut is deep and permanent nonetheless. Whatever comes now, I'll wear those three words he's just spoken to me like a scar." 

Note to myself: Must read more books by this author!

xoxo, 

Purple

REVIEW: Black Iris By Leah Raeder

Genre:

Thriller/ Contemporary / Romance

Buy The Book:

AMAZON / B & N / BOOK DEPOSITORY / KOBO

Connect With The Author:

Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads / Blog

Synopsis On Goodreads:

The next dark and sexy romantic suspense novel from the USA Todaybestselling author of Unteachable.

It only took one moment of weakness for Laney Keating’s world to fall apart. One stupid gesture for a hopeless crush. Then the rumors began. Slut, they called her. Queer. Psycho. Mentally ill, messed up, so messed up even her own mother decided she wasn't worth sticking around for.

If Laney could erase that whole year, she would. College is her chance to start with a clean slate.

She's not looking for new friends, but they find her: charming, handsome Armin, the only guy patient enough to work through her thorny defenses—and fiery, filterless Blythe, the bad girl and partner in crime who has thorns of her own.

But Laney knows nothing good ever lasts. When a ghost from her past resurfaces—the bully who broke her down completely—she decides it's time to live up to her own legend. And Armin and Blythe are going to help.

Which was the plan all along.

Because the rumors are true. Every single one. And Laney is going to show them just how true.

She's going to show them all.

Purple's RATING: 5/5 STARS

Beatrix' RATING: 5/5 STARS
Glass' RATING: 5/5 STARS

*** Buddy-read REVIEWS ***

~ Purple:

“I am not the heroine of this story. And I'm not trying to be cute. It's the truth. I'm diagnosed borderline and seriously fucked-up. I hold grudges. I bottle my hate until it ferments into poison, and then I get high off the fumes.”

I've read a fair share of good books this year, but this is only the 2nd one I've rated full 5 stars and it more than deserves it because for me it's on a totally another, I would even dare to say superior level from the the rest of them. My first book by this author was Unteachable. While I loved the author's writing style there, the story as a whole was more of a 3.5/4 stars read for me, but with this book Leah Raeder won me completely over. And what better way to read her newest book than buddy-reading it with my friend & co-blogger Beatrix, who was also the one who first introduced me to this author.

"I never wanted to be saved. I wanted someone to follow me down into the darkness. To hold my hand as I fell."

Without spoiling anything all I can say is that Black Iris is one dark, gripping, twisted, riveting, poignant, thought-provoking page-turner which will leave you speechless after every new unpredictable twist of the story. What's special and compelling about this book is the fact that the main character Laney is nor the heroine nor the true villain. The lines between good and evil get blurred and disputable, at times over-weighing on one and at other times on the other side, therefore messing with our heads all over again and of course I loved it, the weirdo that I am.

This book was so good that not the even infamous "love triangle", which is usually a deal-breaker for me when choosing my next read, bothered me. That says it all. I won't say anything more about the plot, because when it comes to mindfucks like this the best way is to experience it without any prior knowledge. The writing was supreme. One of the most highlighted books in my collection.

Highly recommended to every fan of dark thrillers/mindfucks!

“Strength is not in the body, it’s in the mind. It doesn’t lie in flexing your muscles and crushing those who oppose you. It lies in being the last one standing. By any means. At any cost.”

~Beatrix:

“Darkness isn’t bad. It’s only darkness.” Those fingers relaxed. “All it means is you don’t see the world as they do. You see what’s really there. They see what they wish was there.”

Revenge. Suspense. Ecstasy. Sex. 

BLACK IRIS was my most anticipated book of 2015, and it did not disappoint. That’s saying a lot since I’m a huge fan of Leah Raeder and I’ve been craving this book basically since I’ve read Unteachable back in 2013 when it was first published. In my opinion Raeder is a true artist when it comes to the art of words. I feel as if she sees the world with different eyes and then transforms that onto the page and gives us her more poetic, vivid, and colorful version of reality. Here’s a paragraph to illustrate what I’m saying: 

I smelled the storm on him. There’s a word for that scent, the breathy fragrance that’s released when rain soaks soil and floods your sinuses like a drug: petrichor. Petros, stone. Ichor, the blood of gods. There was a disturbing loveliness in that image, gods opening their wrists to slake the earth with their quicksilver blood.

This is the kind of novel which will definitely make you question everything. Not only will you constantly be on the edge of your seat with questions such as: what is happening; but this book will also make you question your beliefs and morals. Characters in this book are constantly doing some morally ambiguous acts and let’s just say this is not for those of tender heart. If you’re bothered with excessive drinking and drug abuse, F/F sex, revenge, cheating, love triangles, unlikeable protagonists – then this book might not be for you. 

Don’t expect a typical NA story, or a morally encouraging book. However, what you can and should expect is an incredibly well written and important book, with its message about labeling, sexual fluidity, bullying, and mental illness. 

Something ineffably sad rose in my chest, a drowning feeling, as if my lungs were filling with water from the inside. My hand raised but not touching. My voice unheard. I’d spent all my life in moments like this.

Nothing here was black and white. These characters are so complex and my attitude towards them was ambivalent. I didn’t like Laney, but I understood her. Furthermore, she is not meant to be a role model, nor is she trying to be one. BI is unapologetic and that’s why I like it. Characters are entirely messed up and they’re not trying to hide it. Laney is not attempting to set an example with her behavior. She does what she wants and if you don’t like it, then she’s probably tell you: “Screw you, I’m not trying to impress anyone.”

I’m saying this because I’ve noticed how some negative reviews state that Laney sets a bad example for young girls with her drinking, sleeping around, and basically being high the entire duration of the novel. If you’re so sensitive, then don’t read this. And you’ve probably missed the point as it’s stated right on the first page what kind of novel this would be. This is not the story with a typical HEA; don’t expect a heroine to overcome her issues. This is a dark and twisted story and that’s why it’s so unique.

Furthermore, a few words on the writing style and a quick comparison with Unteachable. Obviously both books are written in the same lyrical, purple tone and if I’m being completely honest I have to admit that maybe, just maybe this style was more suitable for UN and the reason for that is the genre. 

UN is first and foremost a romance novel – it explored emotions, maturing, growing up, love, etc. However, BI proclaims itself to be a suspense novel and I believe it’s difficult to build up tension with adjectives. You need lots of dynamic verbs, descriptions of processes, not states. That taken together with switching timelines, I can see how some readers were lost or found the book to be too slow. I personally was not bothered by that, and I’ve raved enough how I love Raeder’s writing style, but I can understand some of the frustration I’ve noticed in several reviews.

Some of the things I've loved: the sex scenes. Hot damn. This is how you write steamy. Nothing overly vulgar, but so poetic and sizzling hot. Moreover, let’s not forget the poetry. T. S. Eliot, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson are some of my favorite poets and it made me so giddy to recognize all the references. I truly think BI wouldn’t have been the same without it. 

In conclusion, BLACK IRIS is at its core a powerful story which explores the darkness within a person, triggered by someone else’s darkness. It portrays how one act of violence may initiate entire chain of such deeds and how a person may end up trapped in that vicious circle. Have you ever been bullied, misunderstood, and rejected for who you are? Sometimes it’s difficult for a person to see the light, sometimes a person is so weakened, tormented by their own demons that it’s easier to drown than to swim back to the surface. 

Leah Raeder wrote a book for anyone who has ever felt that way. She is the voice of the downtrodden, of the underdog. It’s okay to feel malice and rage, those too are human emotions. Therefore, what I’m saying is – don’t expect a redemption story. But, if you do prefer dark, challenging, and gritty stories, then BLACK IRIS might be just the right book for you! 

I’m the black iris watered by poison. The wolf that raised its head among sheep and devoured its way, ruthless and bloody, to freedom. I never forgave, never forgot.

PS: I’ve found the song which perfectly fits the book, with its lyrics and overall atmosphere -- Sick by Chelsea Wolfe: 

This suffering brings me closer to you

And time is broken and moves slow

Your pure heart, your white light

I should be put to death for ever being cruel to you

…

Come closer now and step right into

The wide mouth, the sharp teeth of the one you love

I’m not the kind of sick that you can fix

Don't you worry about me baby 

xoxo, 

Purple & Beatrix